My baby is ONE!

Today is Michelle's birthday! We had a great party for her with her friends Nayra, Alex, Sam, Adam, and big brother Calvin.

Of course, she loved the ribbons more than any of the presents :).

She had the MOST fun with her cake, though. She really really loved it. When she got a bit tired and rubbed her eyes with the cake, it only slowed her down for a little bit, and then she was right back at it. Finally, she started to cry and fuss more, and we gave her a much-needed bath, which she enjoyed before taking a long afternoon nap.

I had fun remembering the joy of seeing her and holding her for the first time, and thinking about the year that has gone by. She has grown so much, and has become such a delight. (And honestly, I'm very glad that the sleeplessness of the newborn phase has passed!). Here's to you, Michelle! Mommy loves you so very much.

Art Attack 5K

I racewalked the Art Attack 5K this morning for a personal best time of 28:53!!!!! I received first place in the women's walking division, and Diane from the Wasatch Walkers received 2nd place (with our medals int he photo at left), so our club was well represented this morning (after the race, I talked with a runner who asked lots of questions about walking/racewalking - she has bad knees and I hope that I have convinced her to give walking a try; I also saw Diane talking with some people about the club).

I was VERY pleased with my time - I was just hoping to do under 30 minutes, so to finish under 29 minutes was a thrill. I pushed about as hard as I could, and it was tough to hang in there at the end. It was pretty uncomfortable - no, make that very uncomfortable, but it was a great race. I think I paced myself pretty darn well - I was at 14 minutes at the turnaround point, which was at 1.5 miles (slight downhill). Then it took 14:53 for the remaining 1.6 miles, which was a slight uphill.

My time was favorable when compared to the runners in my age group (35-39) - I would have come in 9th of 19. I also could have entered the Athena division (women over 140 lbs - yup, at 145 this morning, I qualify!) and WON it vs. the runners. Click here for full race results.

I'm excited to race again - next race is the Deseret News 10K on July 24th.

Longer LT workout

This morning I did another LT (lactate threshold) workout. 10 min warm up easy, followed by 30 min LT @ 85% max HR. I was pleased that I covered 5K in about 29:40-ish. I think I am really on track to have a great race on the 23rd, if I'm feeling good that morning, and if it's not too hot. At 8 am, it should be OK even if it's going to be a really warm day, so I'm hoping that the weather won't be a factor.

Balance

It's hard to find the right balance. It's so easy for me to keep taking on one more thing because, hey, it's just a little thing, right? And then I end up overwhelmed. I feel OK despite doing too much the past 2 weeks, but I know it's been over the top. I feel my reserves slipping away. I have to be more careful about what I say "yes" to. The last 2 weeks we did Kindermusik each M,W,F. Today I worked in the afternoon to make a little extra $ for racewalking lessons. I also spent most of the evening baking for a work party tomorrow and for Father's Day (I'm making Loren an ice cream cake). I think there have been a few other extra things that I've done as well, but can't remember them right now. Let's just say that I know I have done too much. I am committed to a bunch more stuff through next week - racewalking clinic Saturday morning, dentist appt Thurs afternoon (along with a pedicure, which will be relaxing :)!), 5K race I've been training for on the next Sat (the 23rd, Michelle's b-day) followed by Michelle's b-day party that morning at 11 am. Whew. It's going to keep me hopping.

After next week, I am really going to have to get some time to myself. I am going to have to say no to some things if necessary. Fortunately, my mom is coming to visit from June 27th-July 4th, so that should help me get some much needed REST.

Terrible Twos

I finally REALLY understand why they are called the Terrible Twos. My formerly sweet baby boy has turned into a monster. Sometimes. He can be pushing his sister over to get to a toy one minute and a sweetheart the next. If you don't do what he wants, he pitches GIANT fits. Nasty ones. And I DO NOT do what he wants. I refuse to cave in! That means I listen to a lot of fits every day, about everything from what color cup to put his milk in (I let him choose, but he changes his mind 20x and then he is just stuck with whatever I pick, and screams!) on up to more serious stuff like pushing Michelle, refusing to get in the car when I tell him to, etc. It's really pretty aggravating at times. When I'm tired and my patience is tried, it's very difficult sometimes to avoid yelling and getting nasty and angry (which doesn't help and just makes it worse). I'm learning to be more patient, but it's not a pretty thing.

More sleep helps. I think I'm going to bed now :).

Hard workouts getting more tolerable

The evil lactate threshold workouts are getting more tolerable since I've been doing them 2x/wk for the past month or so. Either I'm getting used to them, or my body is getting better at what it's supposed to be getting better at, or the music from Repacer is pulling me along :). Maybe all of the above. This morning's workout was hard, no doubt, but it felt great. 10 min easy warm-up, then 20 min at 85% max HR, then 10 min easy back home. The 85% max HR was at about a 5:30/km pace, according to my handy-dandy Nike+iPod sport kit (which is often somewhat inaccurate, but today it was right on for the total distance). Not too shabby! I'm hoping that means I'm ready to break 30 min in my 5K in a couple weeks.

The big debate now... go to Reno to do a judged 3K racewalk on July 21st, or not? I'm a bit worried that I still have too much bend in the ol' knees and that I'll get DQ'd. Would hate to drive 8 hr each way to do a 3K and then get DQ'd. I think I'll have Jennifer watch me at the clinic next Saturday and then decide. Part of the problem is that I do NOT have the nice bend-backwards type of knees that look great on a racewalker. Mine just DO NOT do that. Ever. Not even when I am standing still trying to extend maximally. Soooo, I'm just not sure about what I should do.

Fish pond success!

The most recent mortar job I did on the fish pond (when I found the dead rat!) was a resounding success!!! For the first time since we bought our house almost 5 years ago, our fish pond fills all the way - to where it's supposed to - and drains out the intended drainage hole. It's so awesome! I can't believe my mortar job actually worked. There are still a couple smallish leaks, but it's working really well.

Now we're going to tackle the landscaping and the concrete back there. And Loren is going to look into building a reservoir system so we can tap into some of the spring water and use it for our yard. One step at a time...

Threshold workout help!

I love Dave McGovern's racewalking alumni e-mail group - I was whining about how hard threshold workouts are (lactate threshold workouts, which in Dave's RW book are about 85% max HR), and someone suggested this software called "Repacer". It adjusts the beat of your music to match a desired cadence. For racewalking, to get my heart rate that high, I need to have my music about 190 bpm (for 190 strides per minute). Not many songs are that fast. But with Repacer, I can just speed them up a bit. I take my faster music files, and tell Repacer to make them 190 bpm (you can choose any bpm you want to repace your files to --- so this would be good for walkers, fitness walkers, bicyclists, runners, aerobics classes, you name it!), and voila! new music! It DOES NOT change the pitch of the music at all - just speeds it up a bit. It warns you if you try to speed it up TOO much, so the music will still sound great. In addition, the website I got it on has a search feature for songs of any tempo, so you can buy more music that is close to the speed you want. This program is AWESOME!

Last night I made 2 mixes - a 180 bpm mix and a 190 bpm mix, for my threshold workout this morning. I tested them out, and it really helped me keep my target HR! If I started to lag, the music kept me on track - knowing I had to keep my cadence the same as the music just gave me a kick in the seat of the pants. It was just what I needed to make the threshold workouts a little less painful.

Oh, and at only $24.95, it was a bargain. I had been considering getting another mp3 player that would change song speed, but hated to do that since I really LOVE my iPod nano. You can try the software for free (try it! you'll love it!), but to save a whole song you need to register it.

Racewalking video

Cool video of some technique drills ... it's in Spanish, but who cares? I just liked getting some new ideas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kknArA_TrWo&mode=related&search

Ewwwww

We're still working on putting mortar on the leaky spots on our fish pond. Today I was out there doing another round of mortaring, and noticed something icky in the pond. Couldn't tell what it was, as the pond has a lot of algae at the moment... but flies were landing on it. I figured one of our fish had died. So, I got a small rake and scooped it and some of the algae out of the pond. It was a dead RAT. UGH! Really really disgusting. Ewwwwww.

On the bright side, I'm hoping the new round of mortar takes, and that we can actually run the water where it's supposed to go :).

Sweet workout

Today I decided for my lactate threshold workout that I would do a mock 5K along the route of the 5K I'm going to do in just over 3 weeks. My goal for that race is under 30 min.

So, after doing a 15 min easy warmup (racewalked at an easy pace to Liberty Park), I did the 5K. I pushed pretty hard (could it have been harder at points? maybe...but the end was all-out), and finished in 29:23!!! Now, to be fair, I did have a few (3-4?) 15-30 second rest breaks waiting for lights to change, as the race course is in the city. And I think the real race might be slightly farther (does it cross 4th South?) but only by a few meters (10?) I'd guess.

The net result is this --- I'm really close to being able to do under 30 min. I think I can I think I can I think I can I think I can. We'll see.

After my workout, I cooled down with a pleasant easy racewalk back home.

By the way, my dog Copper is getting fast too. She kept up with me the whole time! (I didn't bring Sahara today because she tends to poop on the sidewalk, and I didn't want to have to stop to pick it up. Usually it's OK, but today with the mock 5K I didn't want to be bothered).

new website!

Wasatch Walkers now has its own website - www.wasatchwalkers.com

Check it out! I'm very pleased with the way it's looking. I put our Ogden Marathon Relay results up there, as well as some links to pics of us walking.

Ogden Marathon Relay photos

Here I am on my leg (about 5.7ish miles) of the Ogden Marathon Relay with the Wasatch Walkers.

@#$(*& SPRINKLERS!

Memo to whoever does the sprinklers at the East High track: SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO WORK OUT AT 6 AM AND WE DO NOT LIKE GETTING WET, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS 42 DEGREES OUTSIDE! IT IS @#$&%$ COLD!!!

Yes, nothing like doing intervals through sprinklers when it is freezing cold. Would have driven to another track, but I didn't have time before work. It was really frustrating. I still went pretty darn fast, though. I can do intervals at 5-10 seconds under my desired race pace of 6 min/km for the upcoming 5K, but I'm not sure I can sustain that pace for the whole 5K. Today I did 200m, 400m, 600m, 800m, 1K, 400m, 200m, with 200m recovery inbetween each. I wanted to do 800m and 600m on the way down, but ran out of time. Some of my intervals were a little more than the above due to going AROUND the darn sprinklers. It was windy, so they were watering the track more than the grass. ARRRGH!

A busy but great day

Today was very busy, but very good. I started off the day with an 8-mile racewalk, slow and easy. It felt pretty darn relaxed and wonderful. My time was slow (ave 11:16 mile), but that was fine, as I wanted to take it easy and just get in some miles.

Then it was quick quick shower, feed the kids, and off to church. Enjoyed chatting with some new people after the service.

A fast stop at home to change clothes was in order, and then it was off to Home Depot with the family to pick up some supplies for our weekend project (more to come).

Got home, fed the kids lunch and left them in their daddy's capable hands for their nap, changed into my workout gear again, and made a sandwich. Then I was out the door and drove to Dorothy's for a ride up Millcreek Canyon. We started halfway up, at the gate, both to avoid the traffic and to have a shorter yet still challenging ride.

After the ride, I headed home and the kids had just gotten up from their nap 30 minutes prior, so my timing was pretty good. Then we started in on our project. We re-routed the incoming water from our fish pond (fed by a natural spring) around the edge of the pond and then bailed water out to lower the pond level. I mixed the mortar, and Loren applied it to the corner that was leaking horribly. Michelle and I went back in to make dinner (well, she played with the pots and pans and the measuring cups while I made dinner), and meanwhile, Loren and Calvin pulled out a bunch of ivy that we didn't want.

After dinner, we went back outside to finish the job. We lined our stream with black PVC sheeting, and put beautiful little red rocks in it. I must say that it is looking 100% better. Tomorrow we're going to tackle the horrible weeds around the fish pond, but for now, it's off to bed! I need the rest, after my busy but good day. Below are before & after pics of the stream.

Small World

Tonight we went to a neighborhood bbq in the alley near our house. I met a woman there who lives down the street w/her husband and twin boys. She is a molecular biologist, too, and she worked at Myriad Genetics until she had her twins in December. She used to work with a friend of mine that I know from working at the U. Her husband is a dermatology resident at the U. And, she plays the piano. How weird is that? We have essentially the same career, and both like music. Our husbands are both in medicine (well, Loren WAS in medicine, and still sort of is, since he's doing informatics). I hope we'll get more chances to talk and hang out. She's pretty busy with her boys, so she doesn't get out much. I suppose I'll have to go down the street and say hello one of these days! It really is a small world.

Wasatch Walkers!

It's official! The Wasatch Walkers had our organizational meeting tonight, and we are getting the club off the ground. Diane Teece, our organizing force, led the meeting and we had about 15 walkers attend. I am going to be creating a website for us soon, so stay tuned. I'm very excited to be a part of the club, especially considering that until Dave's clinic a month ago I didn't know ANY other walkers in SLC. We already have workout times and get together for training, and we plan to add in some other informational sessions on topics such as racewalking, cross-training, nutrition/weight loss, etc. We are going to be participating in some races together as well - next on the list is the Art Attack 5K on June 23rd.

Toddlers and ice cream, part 2

Toddlers and ice cream, part 1

Confidence somewhat restored

Last weekend, my racewalking frustration was running high. I had Loren videotape me walking, and I swear it really looked like I was "creeping" (bending my knees as they passed under my body). I worked hard all week on improving things, and today at the Ogden Marathon I had a chance to have Jennifer, a super-fast local racewalker, take a look at my form. She said it looked good to her - no creeping! There were things I could improve, of course, but at least she didn't think I was creeping. I had fellow Wasatch Walker Kathy also take a look, and it looked good to her too. Phew. Big relief.

So, I did the Ogden Marathon Relay today with 13 other Wasatch Walkers. We were on 3 teams of 5 each (except Jennifer's team, which had 4, because she wanted the first two legs). I was to walk a 5 mile stretch for the 3rd leg. Well, I got to what was supposed to be mile 5, and lo and behold, no one was there! I had paced myself to do 5 miles and no more, so I was pretty trashed, but kept on going. Finally about mile 5.6-5.8 (the Garmins among us varied), I found the relay finish. Despite the pacing issues, I did the leg in 58:43, which is a 10:08-10:29 pace per mile, depending on whose Garmin you believe :). Considering that it was HORRIBLY hot out there, and I had a good uphill stretch, I am pretty pleased with my time. It was a good day.

Got a nod

Loren entered me in this contest (One Stylish Mother), and while I didn't win, I got mentioned in the first paragraph of the article.

Check it out

A blast from the past

I can't believe it... but tonight we saw one of these in the parking lot near Shopko in SugarHouse. Yes, a 1983 powder blue Yamaha Riva 180cc scooter. The EXACT model that I owned from 1989-1991, my last 2 years in college. I drove it all over San Diego and now have dirt permanently embedded in my knee after my front tire blew out driving on "the 5" as it is affectionately known in California. Wow, did it bring back memories. The cute little glove compartment where I kept a spare spark plug (hey, it only needs one!) and a screwdriver, the nifty rear view mirror, and the amazing blue color. I remember cruising along the beach near Del Mar with Loren on the back, enjoying the ocean view and the fresh air. I remember the really cool black leather gloves, my denim jacket, and the white helmet w/the red and blue stripes. I also remember how scary it was to get back on after the accident... and how glad I was to finally buy a car when the scooter was stolen on the day of my last final in college - how weird is that?

Non-racewalking news

Enough walking stuff. Other news lately:

1) Got a new cell phone because my old one had some serious problems (buttons weren't working). I got a Nokia 6126, and it rocks. It has a sweet color screen and a very nice 1.3 mp camera.

2) Work has been somewhat stressful with a grant deadline approaching. I'm surviving though. I got a few extra hours in and made a little extra money, but it left me pretty tired last week. This week has been better, mostly.

3) I stink at Super Scrabble. My dad and my brother have beaten me every game this year. ARRRGH!

4) Nice husband is trying to spoil me for Mother's Day weekend, so I need to go hang out with him :). We went to Baskin Robbins tonight and I had a Kissables Sundae. Pretty good, but probably not worth the 21 points, all in all. At least I had saved up so it was legal :).

Next race

By the way, I resolved my dilemma about what race to do next. Found out the Utah Summer Games race is NOT a judged racewalk, so I'm just going to stay here in SLC and do the Art Attack 5K on June 23rd (Michelle's birthday). The race is in the morning, so I can still have the whole day with my little princess :)!

I'm hoping to do under 30 minutes --- we'll see! I think I can do it. Last week I did a workout of 6K and finished in just under 36 minutes, so I expect I can do the 5K faster. However, race day brings jitters, adrenaline, etc., and that might slow me down. Plus I'm trying to fix my stupid bent knees problem, so I may not be able to go that fast legally. Hopefully things will come together in the next 6 weeks for me.

How serious am I?

How serious am I about racewalking? I need to consider this. I started doing it as a way to get more exercise w/o the impact of running. But now I'm realizing that IF I manage to learn to improve my technique a little so I'm really legal, I could have some potential to actually do well in races. I have NEVER ever been good at anything athletic, so it's tempting to consider.

The dilemmas?
1. Most races that are judged are NOT held anywhere near Utah. It would be expensive to travel to enter some of them.
2. I really need to fix my technique. I am still "creeping" a little - my knees are not quite straight when they pass under my body. I am working on it, but it's hard w/o a real coach. There really aren't any coaches in Utah, either, though there is at least one walker in Ogden who might be able to help me out a little.
3. I should probably lose another 10 lbs if I want to be competitive. I can do this easily (I think), but I'm not sure I want to. Then I'd have to buy all new pants again, too.
4. It might be hard on Loren if I started to train more seriously.

I am thinking that maybe I should consider losing a little more weight and working a bit more on my technique with the help of videotaping and perhaps a little coaching from wherever I can get it. I could see how I'm doing after that and see if I am still into the whole thing.

Maybe I should just forget about it, though... I have been told that I have potential, so that makes me want to do it, but is it just my competitive nature rearing its ugly head? Or is this something worthwhile to pursue further? I just don't know.

Dilemma

I'm trying to decide what my next racewalking event should be. I want to do a shorter race to work on my speed. I've narrowed it down to 2 events:

1) The Art Attack 5K on June 23rd here in SLC

OR

2) The 3000m racewalk (I believe it is judged, which is awesome!) at the Utah Summer Games in Cedar City, also on June 23rd

Option 1) is cheaper, local, and is going to be entered by a bunch of my fellow local racewalkers - the Wasatch Walkers. We'd all wear our T-shirts, and a good time would be had by all. Option 2) will cost lots more $$$ because it's in Cedar City, a 3 1/2 hr drive, requiring at least one night but probably 2 nights' hotel stay, gas, food, etc. However, while we are there we could take in Cedar Breaks National Monument, which Loren has wanted to see for a while. Loren says he could go either way, and he does like getting away for the weekend.

All things being equal, I'd probably prefer option 2). But, one more factor comes into play. Michelle's first birthday is June 23rd, and if we're out of town we wouldn't be able to celebrate it that day. I know she won't know the difference, but I do, and if we're out of town, am I putting my interests ahead of hers? Maybe not since she doesn't know the difference, but I can't help wondering. And the practical part of me says it's ridiculous to spend $$$ on a race. Of course, we'd be there for the scenery too, and it's good to get away for the weekend now and then.

ARRRGH! This is a toughie. Input requested if you feel like commenting.

I don't sit still for photos very well these days!

Buddies!

Michelle is 10 months old

Wow, my little girl is 10 months old today. Time flies so quickly. She is all laughter and sunshine, smiling at Calvin's antics, laughing when I change her, enjoying everything she sees. She is getting so big - she would hardly sit still for me to take pictures today (I will post them later). She wants to play with everything, and is starting to crawl at long last. I love her so much!

Official Half Marathon Results

Here they are!  My pace was officially 10:43/mile,
and I came in 45/84 in my division (which was Athena,
women over 140 lbs).  In my age group (females 35-39)
I would have been 113/161.  I'm quite happy with
how things turned out!

                                         
NO.   NAME                    CITY & STATE     
1948.  Stevenson, Tammy        Salt Lake City, UT

                CHIP     CHIP     AGE       PLACE 
RACE # SEX AGE   TIME     PACE     DIV       OVERALL
5711    F   37   2:20:35   10:43    45 /  84  1727 /2245

SEX      GUN      GUN     TIME TO
OVERALL    TIME     PACE    START LINE
902 /1296 2:23:59  10:59       3:24

Jason & Tammy

Congrats, Jason! He finished the MARATHON (yup, the FULL marathon) in under 4:50. Here were are celebrating together. We started the race together, and I wanted to be there when he finished.

Way cool medal

At the 8 mile point (only a few blocks from our house!)

Half Marathon Finisher!!!

I did it! 13.1 miles in 2 hr 20 min 30 sec (or thereabouts... it was 2:24:00 clock time, but we didn't cross the starting line for 3 min 30 sec or so). That's a 10:44/mile pace, or for the metrically inclined, a 6:40/km pace. I did the last 5k at a 10:38/mile pace, even though it was a slight uphill! It was tough, but I felt SO awesome when I crossed the finish line. It was an amazing feeling. I almost started to cry, because I could not believe how far I have come from being a total couch potato.

Here are some pictures if you want to see them.

Need rest

I'm really tired. I think the excitement of the last weekend w/the racewalking clinic and then forgetting baby Sam's birthday and rushing over to Sarah's at the last minute has me bushwhacked. (Sarah, I'm still very sorry, and now publicly very sorry... I'm not much of a friend sometimes). I rested on Sunday, but somehow, it wasn't enough. Monday was run run run. Just lots to do around the house, errands, etc. Today I walked my last longish workout before the 1/2 marathon on Saturday. I did 5.5 miles, and not very fast, but that was fine. (The new technique is a bit slower right now - I think it will slow me down until I figure it out some more - so if I finish in 2:24 or less, that will be good). Anyway, then I went to work, and it was really busy too. Picked up the kids, came home, made dinner, ate, cleaned up, and put kids to bed by myself, because (happily) Loren is out hanging out w/a guy friend from church. Still... all of this means that I've been overly busy. I'm glad that I don't have much planned for tomorrow and Thursday, because I surely need the rest. The kids will keep me busy, but at least I don't have stuff on top of that, for the most part. A few short errands, but nothing major. And maybe I'll go to bed early tonight :).

More racewalking stuff: the Canadian racewalker who helped Dave with the clinic last weekend e-mailed me about my half marathon, offering some great advice about walking the race. I was so happy that she wrote, and very pleased that she cared enough to do that. I really appreciated it so much. Her name is Jeannie Harms, and she is a year older than me (!) and a top-notch walker. She is trying to make the Canadian Olympic team for Beijing. It was so kind of her to take the time out of her busy schedule to mentor me, given that in the racewalking world I am a tortoise to her hare. Thank you, Jeannie! Best of luck in your pursuits!

Race partner

Forgot to mention that Jason, a friend from church, is running the marathon. He's planning on the same pace that I am, and the marathon & half-marathon are following the same route for the 1st 5 miles or so, so we agreed to start together and stay together as long as it's mutually beneficial. I'm excited to have someone to help calm my pre-race jitters and help me relax for the first little bit. I think it's going to be a lot of fun!

Also in church today, they announced that people can come and watch Jason and I and cheer us on. That was way cool! I hope that a few people do show up to cheer, as I feel like I'll need it to finish the race. Here is where the race will go: it starts at 7 am at the legacy bridge at the U, and goes along Wasatch Blvd to Foothill Dr. Then west on 2100 South to SugarHouse Park. I will arrive at the park about 7:40-7:50 am. Then from the park, the half-marathon continues south to 27th south, then west to Highland Dr, then north to 17th south. That's the 8 mile point (at 11th E and 17th S) , and I should be there around 8:20-8:30 am, depending on my pace. Then, over to 5th east and up to Liberty Park, arriving at the north end of the park (10 miles) at about 8:40-8:50 am. Finally, from the park heading west on 9th south to State St, north to 4th South, west to Rio Grande St, and north to the finish line in the Gateway. I hope to finish about 9:11-9:24 am (10-11 minutes/mile, depending on how I feel) - probably closer to 9:24 am. So, if you feel inclined, show up, and cheer loudly!

Racewalking clinic news

The clinic was awesome. I learned a lot - mostly I learned how much I need to learn, but hey, that's a start! I was doing a lot of things wrong: too much forward lean, not enough push off my toes, landing too flat-footed, and basically walking like a fitness walker instead of a racewalker. Also, my shoes were all wrong - too clunky. Racewalkers need supple shoes to accommodate the foot motion, and we don't need all the support runners need, since we have about 1/3 the impact. Anyway, I did make some progress on improving all of these things, but I will have to practice a lot and videotape myself a lot to see how it goes.

Hopefully I will be able to improve w/o too much coaching, since there are basically NO racewalking coaches in UT. There is a good walker up in Ogden, but she is pretty busy... maybe if I paid her enough she would be interested in helping me on occasion.

I met some fabulous walking types who are starting a club called the "Wasatch Walkers". They meet Tuesday nights at 6:30 pm at the Olympic Oval for workouts (there's an indoor track there). It will be hard to make Tues nights, as I've got the kids, but if I can find a sitter I may go regularly. Even if I can only make it once a month, that would be good. Loren might be able to handle them once a month :). I'm so excited to have met some local walkers - I don't feel so freaky and alone as a budding racewalker anymore!

Am hoping the technique changes don't mess up my half marathon this weekend too much. I am a bit worried that the new muscles I'm going to use will fatigue too easily. I will try to use the new techniques, but I guess if I get too tired I can always do it the old way for this one race, until I get my new walking legs acclimated. Same for my shoes - the new ones I got have not yet been adequately tested in long workouts, so I'm probably going to wear my old pair for the 1/2 marathon, even if it does inhibit my technique. We'll see.

I put some pics of Friday and Saturday on the web site, if you're interested.

Oh, in the it's a small world category, one of my fellow clinic attendees is from Grand Junction, Colorado. OK, so what? Turns out her husband grew up in the same church as my boss's family did, and he knows them pretty well. Not only that, but she used to work for my boss's cousin. I enjoyed meeting her and her family (they all came with her for the weekend!), and hope to see them again sometime.

OK, I really do need to get some more rest. I rested a bunch today, but not enough yet. I have got to rest up a lot before Saturday. The taper week sure is nice :).

Racewalking clinic, here we come!

Tonight begins the long-anticipated racewalking clinic. I am really excited about attending, and hoping that I will learn a lot of technique, training tips, etc. Being entirely self-taught to this point, I think I'm doing pretty well, but I wonder if I had a real coach if I would be doing better. I am sure that there are things that are wrong with my technique, though I have done a lot of reading and tried to apply what I've read. Nonetheless, you can't replace a good teacher. I would never suggest that one learn to play the piano by reading a book, and so I assume the same applies to racewalking. Unfortunately, teachers for racewalking are a little harder to find than piano teachers! Anyway, tonight we are having dinner and a lecture from 6-8 pm, and then we are meeting at the Utah Olympic Oval for training sessions Friday and Saturday from 8:30 am - 5 pm. I can't wait to meet some other racewalkers and learn a whole bunch of stuff!

My training for the 1/2 marathon on April 21st has gone fabulously. I think I should be able to do an 11 minute mile for the whole thing. If I'm having an exceptional day, I might be able to do a 10:30 mile, but I think more like 10:45-11:00 is going to be expected. I did 7 miles this morning, with the middle 5 miles at a 10:24 clip, no problem. Last weekend I did a 9-miler in 99 minutes, despite being sick at the time. I feel as ready as I'm going to be, though I still have one more long training walk left, a 10-miler. It hasn't always been easy to do the training, but it's been rewarding.

I'll be back to let you all know how it went!

I'm back!

I guess I got too busy for my blog, yet again. Silly, since really it takes all of a couple minutes to write SOMETHING, anything. However, I have this idea that it is a difficult thing. I will try to keep in mind how quick it can be, and will attempt to post regularly again. Hopefully you are all still reading.

Update since last post:
1) Training for the half marathon April 21st here in SLC. It's going pretty well. I hope to racewalk it in 2 hrs 24 minutes or less, which would be an 11-minute mile pace. I did 9 miles this morning at an 11:00 pace, and it went fine. I was a bit tired this morning, though.
2) Gave up chocolate for Lent, and that was HARD. Am really rejoicing that it is Easter today, and I have saved up some points for a serious chocolate pig-out. Already I've had chocolate chip pancakes, a sandwich with nutella, and some serious See's candy that my devoted and wonderful husband got for me, in a cute Easter basket!
3) My mom visited last week, which was fabulous. I loved having her here, and so did the kids. I am sorry that my parents don't live closer. Maybe they will change their minds and retire here next year, but I doubt it. Anyway, hopefully they can visit more often at the very least.
4) Calvin was so cute hunting Easter eggs after church today. We put them all over the living room and let him go for it. Then he thoroughly pigged out on candy, which is fine once in a while, I think. He loved it!
5) Michelle sat on the floor playing with a book and watched Calvin. She's too little for candy :).
6) Been reading lots of books lately. Read a book on Fatal Familial Insomnia ("The Family That Couldn't Sleep") and am now reading a book on human mutations/development called "Mutants". In the fiction department, read "Eragon" and really enjoyed it (thanks, Steph, for lending me your copy!). Zoe lent me the next book in the series, "Eldest", and I hope to start on it soon. I have way too many books I want to read, though!!! Not enough time!!!!!

Will keep this short so I remember how easy it is to post! More later.

Some "weighty" thinking

Church was great last week. It propelled me forward into some deep thinking. We were talking about the nature of (gasp!) SIN in our adult Sunday school class. It was a great discussion, because it made me think about the horrible struggles I had for about 10 years (heck, maybe 15...20?) with gluttony. I knew what I was doing was bad for my body, and I knew it was definitely not the right thing to do, and I tried to stop. Many times. But it just didn't work. I wondered during that time, "If I am really a Christian, and I really want to change, then why isn't God helping me to be different? What good is Christianity if I am stuck in this rut and feel demoralized and powerless?". To make a long discussion short, we talked about how grace brings you to a place of humility. You have to realize how truly powerless you are against sin to truly appreciate God's gift of grace. If I hadn't gone through those years of suffering (and they were years with much suffering), then I would not have 1) realized my own powerlessness against this sin, 2) understood so much how others suffer with the same sin, and 3) seen how much I have to continue to rely on God's grace to keep the new habits I've developed.

As Sam (our pastor) put it, grace is a gift that you cannot control. So, it makes me very nervous. I mean, what if tomorrow I had no more grace in this area, and I went back to my old patterns? I don't know the answer to that question, but I DO know that I desperately need to trust God and depend on him for the power to continue. I need to trust that he knows what is truly good, and that he loves me beyond measure. I can choose to fear the unknown, and be nervous because I cannot control it in my human smallness, or I can have faith.

This doesn't mean I don't have to continue to work at things. As Jerry Bridges writes (in an EXCELLENT article called Gospel-Driven Sanctification, "Sanctification involves hard work and dependence on Christ; what I call dependent effort. And it will always mean we are dissatisfied with our performance. For a growing Christian, desire will always outstrip performance, or at least, perceived performance. What is it then that will keep us going in the face of this tension between desire and performance? The answer is the gospel. It is the assurance in the gospel that we have indeed died to the guilt of sin and that there is no condemnation for us in Christ Jesus that will motivate us and keep us going even in the face of this tension."

The children are beginning to clamor for my attention, but a few more words. I will work towards eradicating the sin of gluttony in my life. But I need to remember that it is a dependent effort. I will probably never fully understand why God allowed me to struggle with it for so long. (Actually, I will probably continue to struggle with it on some level for the rest of my life!). And when I do stumble and fall, I have the comfort that there is no condemnation for me - so, with God's help, I can get up, dust myself off, and keep going, secure in the knowledge of his love. That is what was missing during the struggle - I somehow managed to forget the good news that my sin has been taken care of in Christ. I heaped guilt on myself, rather than continuing in the struggle in the light of my acceptance in Christ.

Now, I continue in the struggle, but am reminded that I have such a tangible hope! If God was able to heal the mess that led to me being 100 lb overweight, he can heal the other messes in my life, and in yours too. Nothing is impossible with God.

100 pounds!

Today I weighed in at 149.8, exactly 100 lb below my starting weight on February 5, 2005. It has been 2 years since I started my journey, so this was a fitting place to end up.

My goal weight is 155, so I'm not trying to lose more weight, and if I weigh a few lbs more than I do now, it's OK. But I like the weight I am at right now, and if I stay here, that's OK too.

It's just SO exciting to be 100 pounds lighter than I was!!! It's not easy to maintain, but I have done it for almost 4 months now, and I'm confident that I can keep going, one day at a time, with God's help.

First week of my new schedule

I'm so happy to have today off! So far, it's going well to work only Tuesday & Friday, but I'll have to do this for a month or two to really know. It's only the first week, but I'm really enjoying not having to go in to work today. It's snowing gently and I feel snug and warm in my house with my kids. I'm holding Michelle as I type, and Calvin is playing with his toy telephone. Michelle is now grabbing my fingers so I gotta run!

Sick yet again

How many times can we get sick this fall/winter? A LOT is the answer. I now have another awful cold. This one is dominated by fatigue and sore throat, with some lovely sinus/nasal congestion thrown in for good measure.

I guess having 2 kids age 2 and under means more bugs coming our way. This should not surprise me, but I have to say that it does seem like we've gotten more than our fair share these past 3 months or so, having 3 colds and 2 stomach flus.

I need to rest.

wow...

Scary. I found another great "before" picture. I can't believe I was this big! What a great reminder of why I want to stay on track and keep it off.

hee hee hee!

Calvin thought it would be fun to sit in Michelle's Bumbo chair. The fact that he was only wearing his diaper and the bead necklace made this even more amusing :). Someday this will be a great blackmail picture; meanwhile, it's just SO cute!

we'll give it a shot

I'm going to give work a try for 2 months on the new schedule and see how it goes. Since I really like my job, it's worth a shot. We'll see if the extra day at home creates enough margin. I think it could, but I'm not sure if it will, so I will just try it and see. Thanks for your input :).

indecision stinks

So, my last post about tough decisions? Throw it in the trash can. Not all of it, because I still believe every word I wrote. The problem is this - the boss values me so much that he has made an offer wherein I work 2 days instead of 2.5 for a little bit more money. Hmmmm. Couple that with a wonderful week at work where I realize just how much I really do love what I do (not just the identity that it gives me, which I love too - that is a problem, but it's a separate problem), and it makes it VERY hard to know what is right.

I think the extra half a day could be very significant. I mean, by the time I leave my house (12:45 pm) on Thursday, drive to the day care, then drive to work, work, pick up kids, and come home, it's 5 1/2 hours, easy. I'm usually not home until 6:15 pm. If I had all of that time at home, would that be the extra margin that I need? I'm not sure. It might be. The only way to find out is to try it. What do I have to lose by trying it for a little while? It might not work, but if it did...

So I'm thinking of trying it. Comments welcome.

tough decisions

It was a tough decision to go back to work, and I thought it was the right one. However, after 3 months, I have decided it was the wrong one. I feel like I'm missing out on things. I miss my kids. I need more MARGIN in my life. I am going to miss my work, but not as much as I was missing my kids.

One thing that really helped me decide was the sermon Jonathan gave on Sunday. He got me thinking about identity. I tend to find my identity in my work, and I love to be able to say "I'm a molecular biologist". I mean, how cool is that? "I'm a stay-at-home-mommy to 2 active children" just doesn't have the same ring. However, when the rubber meets the road, that just really doesn't matter. I get too hung up on what others think. Though it's been much better with increased age and wisdom (?), I still find myself doing it sometimes. I also enjoy doing something outside the home that I am good at and get positive feedback from. Work did have its tangible rewards that way. But y'know what? I am not giving up work forever, and it will still be there when I want to go back to it. Meanwhile, I get to enjoy the wonderful rewards of watching Michelle grow and take her first steps and watching Calvin expand his vocabulary and thought processes every day.

Last week was important to deciding as well. Having the week off w/the kids & my family was great, even if I was sick. I realized that even though I enjoy my work, I need the space and the margin that being at home more creates.

So, I'm working through January 30th, and that will be it for a while. That's the plan anyway.

I'm baaaaack!

Hope you all haven't stopped reading my blog. I just got overly busy with Christmas. It was an insane month, but I prefer not to dwell on that. Let's just say that things are going to be better now.

Put lots of new pics on our web site, if you're interested. The family was here for Christmas (my parents, my brother, and his wife) and we had a blast when we weren't in bed with fevers or worshipping the porcelain god. Yup, we were all pretty darn sick. But we did have a good time anyway. Managed to hit the Red Iguana and Bangkok Classic Thai while everyone was here, which was great. I also made a fabulous turkey dinner complete with German sweet chocolate pie and all-American peppermint stick torte for dessert.

Making dessert is my favorite type of cooking, I think. I got a GREAT new cookbook called The Best Light Recipe for Christmas, and I'm going to make the NY Cheesecake for the Epiphany party at New Song. The cookbook is fabulous - I tried the lasagna recipe tonight, and it tastes AMAZING and was only 7 points per good-sized serving.

This is pretty rambling, but it's all I have time for. Got to go - motherhood calls!

LIFETIME!

Here's Janece (my WW leader) leading a cheer for me when I received my LIFETIME WW membership on Saturday the 25th!!!

I'm 5 months old (November 23rd) and SO CUTE!

Stuff

Been awhile since I posted... so here's some stuff.

Thanksgiving was great. I ran in the Cold Turkey race, placing 7th out of 42 in my age group! It was a 6K race, and I completed it in 33:32 official time, which is about a 9 minute mile. Not bad! I did tweak my knee just a bit - have a slightly strained MCL on my left leg. I am still able to walk just fine, thankfully, so I'm going to lay off the running for a month or so until it heals up completely. Honestly, I prefer racewalking anyway, so it's not a big deal.

After the race I made dinner (except the turkey, which Loren smoked as he does every year), and the 4 of us enjoyed a wonderful meal together. The kids were pretty well behaved, and Calvin really liked the stuffing and the cranberry relish. Of course, Michelle did not get to try any turkey this year.

Since then, we've had a relaxing weekend. I painted the wood post on our porch, touched up the rust spots on the car, and helped Loren put up the exterior Christmas lights. Calvin enjoyed running around outside while we put up the lights. We put icicle lights on the fence and on the front eaves, and a net light and rope lights on some other fencing. The juniper trees got regular small white lights. All that remains is to re-do the lights on my "Jesus is Lord" sign that I usually put in the window. The squirrel that lives in our garage decided that the lights tasted yummy, and that it was a good place to store his nut stash, so I'm going to have to put new lights in the sign. Grrrrrr!

Today I made turkey soup (yum!) and we put up the Christmas tree and put the ornaments on it. All I have left to do decorating-wise is to put up the remaining indoor decor, which shouldn't take too long. Then I just have to finish my shopping, mail gifts, and write and mail the Christmas letters. Seems like a daunting task right now. I suppose one small step at a time will get it done, though.

Awesome gadget

Whether you are a walker or a runner, the Nike + iPod sport kit is a must have. I was asking for a $350 GPS gizmo for Christmas so that I could monitor my walking/running pace in real time, not realizing that I could do the SAME THING with the $29 Nike + iPod sport kit. Well, you DO have to have an iPod nano to use it with first... but I just happen to have a nano, so that was not a problem. Anyway, I just tested the thing, and it is truly amazing. It will tell you at any point in time how long you have been working out, how fast you are going, and how many calories you've burned. It saves your workouts and synchs them to the computer, and you can set goals for yourself, etc. on the Nike website. Haven't tried that yet, but I will. Tomorrow I am going to run intervals on the East High track (was planning to do this anyhow, for a race I'm training for), and so I'll calibrate the thing for extra accuracy (though it already seems pretty darn accurate w/o calibration, based on running and walking up & down the street).

One warning - the box says you have to have special Nike shoes to put the sensor in. Not so. There are plenty of websites where people have come up with ingenious ways of using the sensor w/o the shoes. I just bought a brand new pair of Addidas running shoes at the Salt Lake Running Company, and there was no way I was going to plunk down another $100 for special Nike shoes. So I tried this method with the sensor and it works great.

Goal party

This is me after the goal party last night. The best thing about the night was looking good in the little black dress.

Before I say anything else, I want to thank Sarah & Bryan for hosting, and I want to thank the people who attended: my husband and children, the Wheatley family, Nancy, Pat, Shannon, Lisa, and Jay and Susan (who got lost and didn't make it but tried!). I hope I didn't just forget someone... if I did, my deepest apologies - I'm a little tired! I very much enjoyed the support of these dear friends and we had a great time talking, eating, looking at the before and after photo display, and playing games. The Wheatleys brought a really great card with a little black dress on it (and they didn't know I was going to wear that!!!). Shannon & Lisa brought me a fabulous bag of stuff for a relaxing bath/spa day, and a great card with ummmm, let's just say, an outfit I never could have worn before (but I can now!). It meant a LOT to me that all of these special people came and celebrated this milestone in my life.

However, the party was a big disappointment. The attendance was really low. This is one of the most important things I have ever done in my life, and when I celebrated it and invited everyone I know in Utah, less than 15 people came. The weather wasn't great, which I'm sure didn't help. The short notice of the event due to my vacation insanity was probably the biggest reason people didn't come. I only told people about the party 9 days beforehand, though I did send an e-mail AND hand out flyers to people. I have learned my lesson there, I suppose.

The bottom line is that very few people came, and I feel hurt. Maybe I shouldn't feel hurt, but I do. I know people are busy, and perhaps that is just the reality of 21st century life. Perhaps I have set my expectations too high. In any case, I feel that I have to ask myself some hard questions now. Am I the kind of person that people want to be around? Are there things about me that are abrasive? Am I a little bit too weird? Does any of that really matter? I mean, whose opinion of me really counts? Do I care too much about what others think?

These are hard questions. I need to make time to think about them. I often fall into the trap of expecting too much from people and being disappointed, and I think that is what happened here. Ultimately, I need to take comfort in the love of the friends who DID come and in the fact that my husband loves me and God loves me even if I am the kind of person that others find difficult to love. Right now, though, even if I should let it roll off of my back and forget about it, I can't. It just hurts.

The lion will lie down with the lamb...

Perfect weather for the reception

Alex and Erica's wedding

Vacation stuff part 2

The wedding was marvelous. Alex looked SO happy, and I am so thrilled that he has met such a wonderful woman, Erica. I couldn't ask for more for my brother.

Photos of the wedding
Photos of the rehearsal

I got to play the piano for the wedding, and it went so well. The wedding coordinator was dynamite, and I always knew exactly what was going on. That NEVER happens in a wedding, so I was very pleased.

We enjoyed a great visit with Marge & Drake and their kids in Half Moon Bay (phtoos here), and then we drove to Davis for a brief visit with my former piano teacher, MarLyn, and my old boss John Payne(photos here).

Halloween was a lot of fun (photos here)- we visited Dyan and her kids, Paul & Suzanne and their kids (they really do the day up right!) and finally ended up at Grandma Mary's house in Lakeport, where we enjoyed trick or treating.

We visited Tania & Enoch and their kids in Palo Alto before flying home.

The flight home was a disaster. I arrived at the San Jose airport, 2 kids in tow, at 11:30 am for my 1:30 pm flight, only to be told that the flight no longer existed. Hello?!?!?!? Why did nobody from Delta call me and tell me?!?!?!? They said the best they could do was get me out on a 6 pm flight. I told them they were nuts if they thought I was going to spend the whole day in the airport with 2 little kids. They finally got me on a 3 pm flight out of SFO, but I had to take a taxi there, which meant strapping the car seats back into the car, getting help with the enormous amount of luggage, and then running out of cash to tip everyone because I had twice the tips I counted on. To be fair, the airline did pay for the taxi, but all the same, it was NOT fun. I still had to wait almost 2 hr for the flight out of SFO once we got there, and Calvin was past his naptime and was totally miserable.

Anyway, we did eventually get home, and the rest of the vacation was great, so it was worth it. However, I'm not too keen on flying w/2 little kids in the near future.

Vacation stuff part 1

Carol & Tammy after the race

Enjoyed the vacation immensely... the day after the wedding, October 29th, I ran a 5K with my aunt, Carol North, who is in excellent shape and a great runner (I've always admired her running ability). We ran and finished together, and it was great. I had never ever RUN 5K before in my life, so it was very exciting. I actually finished in 11th place out of 68 in my age group. Carol got SECOND PLACE in her age group!!!

FEMALE AGE GROUP: 30 - 39
1 59 Mihaela Plummer 37 Castro Valley CA 23:14
2 94 Jesualda Sousa 34 Monterey CA 25:34
3 111 Bonnie Rebella 39 Chicago IL 26:14
4 119 Amy Wylie 31 Seaside CA 26:25
5 124 Jennifer Dreyer 32 Monterey CA 26:42
6 128 Jodi Rabideau 30 Marina CA 26:52
7 136 Sally Osborne 31 Monterey CA 27:09
8 145 Narayanan Meiyyappa 30 Fremont CA 27:27
9 153 michelle staub 31 monterey CA 27:36
10 161 Jacqueline Perkins 34 Monterey CA 28:02
11 170 Tammy Stevenson 36 Salt Lake City UT 28:07

FEMALE AGE GROUP: 50 - 59
1 88 Sandy Laurence 50 Woodinville WA 25:13
2 171 Carol North 52 Dallas TX 28:08