It was a tough decision to go back to work, and I thought it was the right one. However, after 3 months, I have decided it was the wrong one. I feel like I'm missing out on things. I miss my kids. I need more MARGIN in my life. I am going to miss my work, but not as much as I was missing my kids.
One thing that really helped me decide was the sermon Jonathan gave on Sunday. He got me thinking about identity. I tend to find my identity in my work, and I love to be able to say "I'm a molecular biologist". I mean, how cool is that? "I'm a stay-at-home-mommy to 2 active children" just doesn't have the same ring. However, when the rubber meets the road, that just really doesn't matter. I get too hung up on what others think. Though it's been much better with increased age and wisdom (?), I still find myself doing it sometimes. I also enjoy doing something outside the home that I am good at and get positive feedback from. Work did have its tangible rewards that way. But y'know what? I am not giving up work forever, and it will still be there when I want to go back to it. Meanwhile, I get to enjoy the wonderful rewards of watching Michelle grow and take her first steps and watching Calvin expand his vocabulary and thought processes every day.
Last week was important to deciding as well. Having the week off w/the kids & my family was great, even if I was sick. I realized that even though I enjoy my work, I need the space and the margin that being at home more creates.
So, I'm working through January 30th, and that will be it for a while. That's the plan anyway.
5 comments:
ooooh exciting! I'm glad you tried it anyway - now you don't have to wonder if you missed an opportunity. (I agree - Jonathan's sermon was great.)
Tammy, I'm proud of your decision. I believe that being a good and dedicated parent is a lot harder than molecular biology could ever be. No offense- I know you worked hard to get there but molecules are a dime a dozen. Your children and the unique inviduals they are are once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Plus, you are a good mom and they'll be better people for having you more involved in their lives.
Tammy - I'm really glad to hear that the sermon's message was timely for you! I'm sure Sarah will be very pleased to hear that you will be more available for mommy-stuff.
Hey tammy,
i knew when you told me that you would be finding your way home. i saw it in the wistfulness in your eyes. but i knew you were not a quitter and that you love work just as much as i do. so i really know how big a decision this is. i hope above all our comments you will find the peace from Him to know this is the right decision. know that many moms are standing with you....
love t
I'm sure you won't regret this decision. You're lucky you have a job you can leave for a few years and come back to. I'm jealous...but I love my job so I'm lucky too.
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