CHOKE!

I did a 10K today. Or maybe I should say that the 10K did me in. It was VERY ugly.

Before I get all negative, I want to point out the positives:
1. I am healthy and I was able to get out there and do a race.
2. It was for a very good cause (you can donate if you want at www.operation61.org), to help stop human trafficking by supporting 2 agencies (operation 61 and the Utah Health & Human Rights Project, www.uhhr.org) that are doing good work to help victims of human trafficking.
3. I got to see a few friends there.
4. The race had a great goody bag with lots of good free stuff (including headphones!).
5. The weather held out OK for the race; showers were predicted, and though the ground was wet, it didn't rain on us, nor was it windy. It was 39F (4C), calm, and overcast for most of the race. The sun did peek out at the end.
6. My injuries were not a problem, and both feet feel fine (this is probably the best news).

I slept OK from 10 pm (lights out) until 4 am (woke to use the bathroom; ingrown toenail hurting). I put some salt on the toenail (to help the swelling - as recommended by podiatrist's office - it hurts initially but really does help!) and got back in bed. Slept fitfully until 6:15 am and then got up to do a few dishes, get dressed for the race, and have something to eat. I felt a little shaky this morning, uncharacteristically. I chalked it up to low carbs, so I ate a banana AND 1c Cheerios (fast carbs) with a little vanilla soy milk. That's more than I usually would eat before a hard 10K, but I felt I needed it. Within 30 min, I felt totally fine and ready to go. I was optimistic that I could have a speedy race.

I drove to Liberty Park and picked up my packet. This race had the BEST schwag! Free Skull Candy headphones, a nice technical T-shirt, a Snickers Marathon bar, and a plastic Operation 61 wristband. Very nice. I took the stuff back to my car, racewalking to get warmed up. I racewalked back to the sign-in, and realized I had forgotten my bib. Racewalked to the bathroom, used the facilities, then racewalked to my car to get the bib and back again. It wasn't that far, and it all felt like the perfect warm-up; I threw in a few fast pick-ups to get things going, and everything felt smooth.

We walked over to the starting line about 8 am. The race started off just fine. I kept comfortable in tights, gloves, a long-sleeve shirt, and my short-sleeve Wasatch Walkers shirt over that (gotta make sure people know what I am doing when I enter a running race!). The first 2K went pretty well, and I felt decent enough. After that, the wheels started to fall off. Perhaps a more appropriate metaphor is what happened at about a little over 1K into the race when I grabbed some water from a volunteer (my mouth was dry and I just wanted a sip); I tried to swallow but it all just went down the wrong way and I started choking. CHOKE pretty much sums up what happened after that.

I was planning on going out at a 5:50/km pace and seeing if I could hold it. The first 2K was fine; I got there in 11:40 on the dot. The 3rd km took 6:01. Uh-oh...I thought to myself that I had better speed up. The problem was that my average HR for the 3rd km was 170 (!). No gas in the tank. Serious problem. I did manage to hold the pace and got to 4K in 5:59, but again, my ave HR was 170. I knew at this point that I was in BIG BIG trouble. I was sucking wind, and breathing very hard. Around 4K I got a side stitch which dogged me the rest of the race, on and off. I rarely get these, and usually changing up my breathing fixes it, but today, I didn't have any breathing room. I was breathing so hard there wasn't much way to change the pattern. Ugh. I felt awful. I figured at least I could get in a decent 5K...but that wasn't so great either, as I made it to 5K in 6:06 for a 5K of 29:46.

I knew I was in serious trouble, because my legs were SO tired, and I was breathing WAY too hard. I just felt rotten, and I had 5K to go. I was miserable. My legs were hurting, my wind was non-existent, and I was definitely NOT having any sort of fun whatsoever. I was just in serious pain. But I was determined to finish. I kept pushing but there was just nothing there. There was a runner in a hot pink top that would pass me, and then I'd pass her, etc. She finally passed me for good about 7K, and she was only maybe 20 ft in front of me, but I just could not muster the strength for a pass.

My 6K split is actually 6.02K (missed it), but it was 6:22 (!so slow!) even though my ave HR was 169. I think I mentally gave up at this point, at least a little. The negative thoughts started pouring in "Why am I bothering to train so hard if this is all I can do?", "My hard work has gotten me nowhere", "I'm terrible today", "What is wrong? Why don't I have any strength?". I promised myself to keep trying hard and to not give up, despite all of that. I kept pushing hard but my legs were Jell-O. I made it to 7K in 6:03 (but remember, this was only 980m because my 6K split was long), ave HR 166, and feeling AWFUL.

The rest of the race was just hanging on, miserably and painfully. My HR went down even though I swear I was giving it all I had left; I think my legs just gave out and then my lungs/heart didn't have to work so hard. I got to 8K in an unbelievably slow 6:25 with ave HR of 165. Obviously I was totally falling apart; normally with HR of 165 I would be doing a 5:50 or even 5:45. I just hurt so much that I didn't even care anymore about trying to pass hot pink lady. I only kept pushing hard because I wanted more than anything for the race to be over so I could be out of my misery. I managed to push hard enough to get to 9K in 6:14, but my ave HR was down to 163. Legs were trashed. And, to add insult to injury, the race was not properly measured...the last K was 1.37K on my Garmin. I finished the last 1.37K in 8:48, for 6:25/km, with ave HR of 164. I was frowning and shaking my head in dismay at the time as I crossed the finish line: 1:03:39. That will be captured on film, as there were a ton of race photographers there. UGH. I'm sure the pictures will show my pain only too well. Assuming my speed was constant for that last 1.37K, my actual time at 10K on my Garmin (which is more accurate than however the race organizers managed to measure the stupid thing) was about 1:01:16. That is only the smallest amount faster than my 10K kickdown a few weeks ago (1:01:32 I think was my time for that).

On the positive side, my left foot (hurt last summer) did not hurt AT ALL, and my right foot was fine too; my right calf felt pretty tight at a few points during the race, but the foot never really hurt, even after the race (I was very careful to stretch a lot when done). That is great news, and that is probably the best thing that happened this morning.

So now I'm sitting here trying to figure out what went wrong. Obviously I had a bad day. I know I am in much better shape than this time reveals. Sadly, this is definitely my worst 10K race ever, by a LOT :(. My best guess as to what went wrong is that I am coming down with something. My husband has been sick as a dog since Thursday night with a very nasty cold. I have felt basically fine as far as I can tell, but after the race, my lungs felt terrible; once I got home I was coughing constantly for probably 20 minutes, and I got that nasty bloody taste in my mouth from coughing really hard. I took a shower and had something to eat and now I feel really cold and really exhausted. I'm just lying here doing nothing and that feels good, but I'm still cold.

Anyway, I'm not sure what went wrong, but I'm just glad it happened now and not in July at the race I really care about. Still, it's hard not to get discouraged; all those hard workouts and look at my dreadful performance. UGH!!! And the worst part is that the race itself was so horribly miserable - other than the first 2K, it was extremely painful. Not fun at all. It just hurt horribly. Races are supposed to be fun, aren't they? I usually do find them fun, even if they are hard, but not today. I'm just glad it is over and that I can move on.