My legs felt good this morning, and the weather was perfect. 7.2C (45F) and sunny and clear, with a bit of a breeze. Can't complain about that.
Despite feeling good, this workout didn't go so well. I knew it was bad when my first 1km was 5:50. I just felt like I couldn't catch my breath, and though my legs felt fine, they just had no zip in them. GAAAAH! No fast twitch muscles any more. SO FRUSTRATING. BUT, at the same time, 1) I'm feeling well enough to train hard, and 2) I get to be out there exercising rather than sitting on the couch. So my frustration is in perspective. Sort of.
After hitting 3km in 18:02 (ughhhhhhh so pathetic!) I almost quit out of frustration. I stood there for about 30 sec, indecisive, but then realized I would be too angry at myself if I quit. I'd feel too horrible that I had allowed myself to give up so easily when really my legs felt good enough to train. Yeah, I'm slow? But what of it? Yeah, I'm slower than 2 weeks ago before my cold? Well, this game is 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. I talked myself into continuing, and I think I'm glad I did. Mostly.
My "fasts" if you can call them fast, which I can't really, were all about 2:56. My medium effort 500s were 3:07-3:13 for the most part with the last one 3:15. Yeah, I got tired. But I was able to keep going, there was no weird soreness, and I stayed with it and didn't give up even though I really wanted to and was sorely tempted to. Total time was...sigh...48:44 with ave HR 161, so I was working plenty hard. At least that much wasn't imagined. Garmin data here.
The negative: I am embarrassed by how slow I am. I don't want to admit it publicly. I am worried my coach won't want to keep coaching me (which is silly, because he coaches people who are both faster and slower than me, but I am worried about it still, somehow). I wonder if my fast twitch muscles will come back. I wonder if I'm getting old enough that I can't make a good comeback (which is also ridiculous - I may have reached my peak speed and it may be all downhill from here, but that doesn't mean I can't improve from where I am now after 2 years of not training hard). Yeah, I worry too much.
The positive: I kept going even though I wanted to quit. I am not giving up. I'm not done. I have one good hard session under my belt this week and the next one will go better. I am probably still suffering a bit from the cold (breathing issues - nose still snotty and it was hard to breathe today at the track) and once that goes away it'll be better. If I keep working hard, I'll get faster, and hopefully I can do some longer races this fall as long as the mystery illness stays away.