cautious

Yesterday: 45 min elliptical.

***

My right piriformis was bothering me a bit yesterday and some this morning, too. I went out to warm up, and it just didn't feel quite right. I decided to be cautious and not do the 3K fartlek. Instead I did a very slow 3.2km (2 miles), focusing on form and on using my left glutes more. I can still feel it, later today (3:30pm) so I suppose I made the right decision… but I feel vaguely guilty. I probably *could* have done the workout. At least my muscles don't have the weird soreness going on.

Mentally, I'm a bit tired. Work is hectic, as we are still interviewing post-doc candidates, and I have a seemingly endless to-do list (good because it's job security and I like being busy, but bad because it's a bit stressful and there's some time pressure) and new people in the lab to train. Home has been crazy because of the head lice. We had to shampoo and comb again last night and wash all the kids' bed linens and coats and the like all over again. Add in a memorial service on Monday for a friend's husband who died too young (they have a son Grace's age and a daughter a bit older than Calvin) and some changes with the church music ministry (good overall, but still changes) that required an extra meeting this week, and I have maxxed my capacity for handling things with extra effort, like speed work when my leg is hurting. Oh yeah, and my Christmas tree is mocking me daily because it's still up.

I'm still struggling to lose the weight I put on, and not really getting the upper hand on things. It's not getting worse, but not better either. I'm hovering at about 161-162 pounds…ughhhhh. Yeah, it's better than 250, where I started, but it's not good.

I need to do some weight training to try to help my left leg pull its weight, but I'm a bit afraid to start weight training because I'm worried it will make my fatigue and/or muscle pain to come back. Logically, I don't think it will, but it's hard to be motivated when that is going on. Add in the mental tiredness and it's just not happening right now.

I wish I knew how to kick-start my motivation. Sometimes I think we just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going as best as we can, and the motivation will return eventually. I hope.