I am inspired by this post. She writes it because she feels she uses her "4 personas" to hide behind; that's not really my personality (I don't think it is anyway), but I do feel that I have such divergent interests that I'm not sure how they all fit together into one person. I wish my interests blended a bit better. The transitions are not so smooth; I'm not sure if that matters, but it's weird.
I like Amy Grant's song "Hats" and I think that's what it's like - trying on so many different hats, and juggling them rapidly. It's not easy.
1. Molecular biologist - I love my work and I do get really absorbed in it. It's a time for me to exercise my brain, feel skilled at something, and have time with other adults who are doing the same. I like the challenges and revel in learning new things. I like making some money for the family, and I like contributing to general scientific knowledge. I like getting paid to work with expensive scientific equipment (i.e. confocal microscopes, etc.).
2. Mommy of preschoolers - this is the area I am weakest in. I'm not patient. I don't allow myself to relax enough with my kids. I get too busy and then don't give my kids enough time or energy. It's not that I am a bad mom, but I'm not sure I'm a good one.
2.5 Wife - I do a lot of stuff for my husband but our time together is stretched thin because of kids/work/obligations. I need to improve here. We do get a decent amount of dates, which helps, but the everyday stuff, the 5 minutes here and there, could be vastly improved upon.
3. Competitive racewalker - this is the one thing I really do just for ME. Yes, my work is for me, but it is also for the family (the money aspect) and for the boss. Racewalking is a space unto myself, and it's wonderful.
4. Coach - I love coaching TNT people. It's meaningful to see their progress and their joy at completing their event. I love that I am doing it for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, because then I feel I am doing something to fight the disease that my dad has.
5. Piano teacher/musician - this area of my life has gotten a bit squished by the other stuff lately. I do still have 4 students and enjoy teaching them, but I don't get to play much myself. I do play some for church, but I miss serious chamber music and/or wind ensembles. Ah well, there is a time for everything, and right now is not the time for the musician stuff I guess.
My goal for the next few months? I'm going to be racewalking and training less while my foot heals. I want to focus on being a better mommy & wife. So I'm going to do Play-doh with my son for a bit right now :).
3 comments:
Obviously, I don't know you very well. But from reading your posts and communications for, what, a year and a half (at least) or more: I've noticed that your confidence level (at least how it appears on the internet) has gone up and it appears to be correlated with your athletic successes.
I am thinking that "athlete" is a big part of your persona.
My unsolicited 2 cents. :-)
ollie
Ollie - when I wrote "competitive racewalker" I did mean that as a synonym for "athlete" (hey, are you allowing me to use that word now ;)?). Thanks for the 2 cents --- I think you are right that my confidence has increased a lot in part due to athletic success; maybe because I have never ever had any athletic success before, and hence it is more meaningful? Arrrgh gotta go - have 1 dog and 2 kids chasing around my feet as I type!
Hey, don't sell yourself too short as a mommy. It's probably the hardest of all the hats you wear, and from all I've seen you are doing a wonderful job!
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