I was reading Ollie's blog entry for today, and it made me think a lot... and so I wrote a response, which I'm going to stick here for my readers to peruse as well.
Thanks for your post. It is always interesting to read others' perspectives on the weight issue. As someone who has lost 105 lbs and kept it off for almost a year (so far!), I have a lot of emotions about the whole thing. I remember how it was to be fat - how people look at you, and how icky you feel all the time. I remember the self-loathing, the shame, and burying the pain of it with still more food. However, I also know the other side now - the marvelous feeling of taking the bull by the horns and working incredibly hard to change my lifestyle. I now know the freedom of shopping for clothes in normal stores, looking great in a little black dress, and racewalking a 5K under 30 minutes. If I could go back in time and talk to myself on February 4, 2005 (the day before I joined Weight Watchers), I would tell myself not to be so scared. I'd say, "You are about to embark upon the best and most fulfilling journey of your life - enjoy the adventure!". And today, I am loving it!!!
2 comments:
Racewalker? Small world indeed; most of my walking is focused on distances from the marathon and up, but my judged racewalking PRs are 18:03 for the 3K and 30:42 for the 5K.
Good luck with your walking!
Random blathering inspired by Ollie's post and yours...
You are a true success story and an inspiration. I love reading about your workouts and checking out your amazing muscles! :)
My journey has been and will be different - slower, lazier, looser - but I've reached a place where I'm totally happy with that, too. I really just want to be friends with my body in every way, and with everything that means for me. That may or may not mean reaching my goal this year, or next year. Sometimes, for me, being friends with my body means just enjoying food without the guilt and shame that used to dog me. When I listen to the way some perfectly fit and attractive women talk about their bodies I know I'm already miles ahead in the self-acceptance department, and self-acceptance feeds into taking better care of myself because body is no longer enemy territory.
I wish society could be more accepting of fat or overweight people, but at the same time when I see obese or morbidly obese people, what I want most for them is to be able to love themselves enough to take care of themselves. Because I KNOW that feeling, physical and psychological, of walking around in a body that isn't what it was meant to be.
Now I've reached a point in my weight loss where I've still got 15-25 pounds to go, but I no longer feel afraid, desperate, self-hating. I feel average. I feel normal. I feel like I have no more or less problem with food and my body than anyone else. That's something I never ever thought I'd be able to feel about my body or my relationship with food.
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