end of year

I'm glad 2013 is almost over. I know it's just another day tomorrow, nothing really new, but mentally I can pretend that a new year might mean something new and better?

Yesterday I walked at work in the afternoon, which is usually a sluggish proposition at best, and this walk was no exception. I struggled to push at all, and my legs felt heavy and tired. I did 6km in 37:22 for 6:13/km with ave HR 147. It is a slightly hilly route at work, and I'm sure that contributed to the heavy/aching legs, but some of it was the mystery illness I think.

This morning I woke feeling ugh-ish and opted for elliptical; after 30 min I'd had enough - my legs were tired. They have felt OK the rest of the day though - not too achy even though I drove a bit after work today, taking my mom shopping up to Park City and driving to and from Sandy.

I totaled my miles for the year --- pretty pathetic compared to my usual totals, but it was the best I could do given the circumstances. I did 614 miles (987 km), all of it hard-earned.

***Mileage update - forgot miles done in part of June & July that didn't make the blog. New total: 643.5 miles, or 1035 km.

I am hoping and praying for a better 2014 for racewalking and for health in general.

challenging week

It was a challenging week. Vacation is always interesting - with more opportunities, but also more difficulties.

The soccer game on Sunday with Calvin did change my week a bit. It definitely left me sore and off-kilter, and then I followed that up with a hilly walk Monday (which actually was good, in retrospect). After that I felt I needed a day off racewalking, so I used the hotel elliptical. Big mistake. It was so different from the ellipticals at my gym! I don't know what it was about the angle of the foot plates or something - but it used my calf muscles way way more than I am used to. By that evening they were screaming, and continued to be excruciatingly painful for several days. It hurt just to walk across a room. A lot. They were tender to the touch and extremely sensitive. This left me in a quandary. I wanted to exercise - let's face it, food was going to be difficult this week, and exercise was essential - but exercise was also painful.

If you have been reading this blog any length of time, you won't be surprised that I went out and exercised anyway. Mentally, I needed it. It was painful, but on Christmas Day (Wednesday), I race walked 6.86km at a slow 6:55/km pace. My average HR was only 136 --- you can see that the problem was my sore legs, not my cardiac conditioning! To make matters worse, I had consumed a fair amount of chocolate prior to going out (hey, it was Christmas!), and I got nauseated about 2/3 of the way into my walk. That slowed me even more, but I was still glad I went out. When I got back to my brother's house (we were visiting him in northern California), my mom wanted to go for a casual walk with me. I rested up for a bit and the nausea subsided and then enjoyed a very nice walk with her. The weather was SO lovely - mid 60s (17C) and sunny. I was almost hot on my racewalk, even though I wore shorts and a T-shirt. Ahhhhh. The warm weather was fantastic.

The next day, my calves were still screaming, but I knew I had to try to exercise. The elliptical was out of the question. The kids wanted to swim in the pool at the hotel, and I wanted to walk with my mom. Solution? The exercise room had a window to the pool, so my mom and I walked on treadmills in there while watching the kids in the pool. Awesome, except that I hate the treadmill. I lasted for 30 min of good racewalking at a very slow pace (5.5 mph - 10:54/mile, which is just under 7min/km --- keep in mind that RW on the treadmill is IMO ridiculously more difficult than RW on the street) before I quit. Later that day, because I am crazy? Stupid? Forgetful? I did a very hilly hike with my brother, his wife, and Calvin. It was an awesome hike and I'm glad I went, but it did make the calf problem worse for sure. We hiked up and then did some trail running on the way down. Calvin and Alex were waaaaay ahead of me but it was still a good time.

On Friday my calves were certainly not any better for having done the trail hike/run. So I race walked anyway! I enjoyed a somewhat painful racewalk on a lovely trail over to Discovery Park in Sacramento, near our hotel. I managed 6K in 38:01 for 6:20/km with ave HR 139, which was not bad at all considering the amount of pain I was in for the first 500m. You'll notice that split was rather slow… as was the 2nd 500m because of a hill up over a bridge. Mostly the route was flat (Sacramento is very flat) but there were a few inclines on the road due to overpasses etc.

Saturday I took a rest day, because I knew I had to sit in the car all day while we drove home (10 hour drive). My legs don't tolerate car rides after RW these days. They don't tolerate car rides much at all, come to think of it, though that seems to be improving slightly.

This morning I wasn't feeling much in the mood to work out. My calves were still fairly sore, believe it or not, and my mood wasn't the best. A week of eating a bit too much combined with muscular pain had me wondering if I'd ever feel back to normal again. It's been a long year. But I got out there anyway, and as usual, felt MUCH better for having done a walk. Today I did 6.27km total in a relatively speedy (for me, lately anyway) 6:13/km for a total of 39:01 with ave HR 151. My legs actually felt quite good for most of the walk, and the odd pain I've had the last 6 months only showed up at about 5km or so, and even then it didn't sap my strength much. I finished well and wasn't sore from sitting in church afterward, either. It was cold, though… sigh… I really miss the warm weather in CA. This morning it was 18F (-8C), which isn't too terrible for here in the winter, especially since it was calm and foggy-ish, with good footing.

I'm glad I am feeling OK today, and that my muscles seem to be recovering. I am hopeful that with my return to a more normal routine this week that I will feel good and continue my improvement despite last week's stall-out.

made it through the week

Wow. About all I can say about this one is that I made it through the week. It was a bit over-the-top, with work insane, holiday preparations, getting ready to go on vacation, etc. I burned the candle at both ends for too long, and come Thursday & Friday, I had had it. I took rest days.

But let's back up a bit.

Sunday, Dec 15th: after my lovely 10K on Saturday, I decided a rest day was a good idea.
Monday: my legs felt rested and ready to go, but my 8K didn't feel good. It felt OK, but I was dragging a bit and my legs got pretty tired at the end. I still managed 50:45 for 6:20/km with ave HR147, and the good news is that later that day I felt OK and I recovered well.
Tuesday: I felt much better on Tuesday and cranked out a good 8K. 49:27 for 6:11/km with HR 150. Finished strong with a 3:01 and 3:07 for the last km. Awesome.
Wednesday: Here it began to go downhill… woke late because was up late working on holiday stuff and then only managed 30 min on the elliptical.
Thursday & Friday: tired/felt sickish (probably just from being sooooo tired)/didn't sleep enough/worked too hard. Didn't exercise. That was probably a mistake. I felt lousy.
Saturday: Got in a nice 45 min elliptical before we left on the long drive to California. We drove 12 hr from Salt Lake to Castro Valley where we visited our friends Dean and Debbie.
Sunday: played soccer with Calvin for 26 minutes before tripping and almost falling and pulled a muscle in my right glutes somewhere --- ouch. Definitely had to stop playing and was super annoyed because 1) I was having great fun even though Calvin was totally killing me, 2) I was worried about how bad it would be, and 3) darn it! I just want to be able to do stuff like this with Calvin! Walked it off and took ibuprofen and felt OK the rest of the day; a bit sore, but OK.
Monday (today): Decided to try to racewalk. I was slow and cautious and did not push at all, and in addition it is really quite hilly here, so it was a very challenging route. The good news is that I did almost 6K at 6:50/km with ave HR just 129. My right glutes were somewhat sore, but it didn't seem to do much except slow me down a bit, and they didn't get worse with racewalking. Good news. I might be slow for a few days but hopefully that's it.

Today it's on to visit my brother in Davis, CA. Hopefully I can bicycle a bit there, as well as racewalk/trail run/who knows what. My brother is a runner and it'll be fun to do some active things with him. Calvin brought his running shoes too, so perhaps the 3 of us can do a trail run.

In other news, I saw the rheumatologist (finally!) this week. They looked me over and aside from my Reynaud's phenomenon, they see no signs of autoimmune or rheumatologic disease. But because Reynaud's phenomenon is associated with some autoimmune disorders, they did some blood tests to rule them out. Interestingly, my anti-SSB/La titer was a bit high, which by itself means nothing, but does raise the index of suspicion. I have no other clinical signs of autoimmune disease though, so they just want to see me in 6 months for follow-up. There's nothing to worry about, but just need to keep tabs on things. The attending's conclusion was that I might indeed have protein deficiency - she thought my hypothesis was a good one. So I'll keep eating more protein and hope it helps. Other than the blip this week of overworking, I have continued to feel better overall.

Feeling better!

I haven't blogged in a couple weeks, but it's only been because of busyness. I have been feeling much better overall, and have been walking a lot more. Though I'm still not feeling totally normal, it's much improved.

It's been ridiculously cold and/or snowy, so it's been hard to walk outside as much as I'd like. Good thing I have the option of the indoor track! Sometimes, I've walked outside anyway, and it's been slippery; hence, my times were slower those days.

Here's a summary of what I've been up to:
Wed, Dec 4: elliptical, 45 min
Thurs, Dec 5: 8.78km racewalking, slippery - outside, Garmin data here. 6:32/km w/ave HR 141. -13C with wind chill -18C. Cold!
Fri, Dec 6: 6km racewalking, hilly route - outside, Garmin data here.  6:32/km w/ave HR 141 again. -12C with wind chill -19C. Brrr...
Sat, Dec 7: elliptical, 45 min
Sun, Dec 8: snowshoeing with Calvin, 45 min.
Mon, Dec 9: 5K on indoor track, followed by 10 min elliptical. On the indoor track I tend to push harder for some reason. 5K took 30:33 for 6:05/km with ave HR 148. My legs had a bit of the odd soreness at the end, so I stopped.
Tues, Dec 10: 6.25K Liberty Park route. It was really cold again, at -13C (wind chill -18C). I felt tired, and did only 6:28/km with ave HR 145. My eyelashes and eyebrows froze… uncomfortable.
Wed, Dec 11: 30 min elliptical. I needed some recovery.
Thurs, Dec 12: 8K on indoor track in 49:14 (6:09/km) with ave HR 150. Didn't have the odd soreness until about 7km in to the walk :). My legs were feeling great the rest of the day!
Fri, Dec 13: Much warmer outside at just -8C. It was actually not too bad. My legs were tired from the 8K, and so I just did 6.25km at 6:25/km for total time of 40:13 with ave HR 142.
Sat, Dec 14: I felt pretty good this morning, so decided on a longer walk. The weather was decent, too - almost felt warm at -4C with no wind. I decided to try for 10km. I haven't walked that far in a long time. I know, it's a bit sad since that used to be an easy recovery, but I'm just glad to be getting back into things. At 8km I did get very tired, and the odd muscle soreness was bothering me, but I felt strong enough to make it to 10km! At about 5.3km I walked by a friend's house and she was taking out her trash, so I stopped to talk with her for a bit - nice to see her. The break helped me feel refreshed and able to do the 10km. Total was 10km in 1:03:38 for 6:22/km with ave HR 147.

Summary:
Week of Dec 1-7: 33.8km (21 miles)
Week of Dec 8-14: 35.5km (22 miles)

OK, so the mileage totals are pretty much laughable, but it's the most I've done since January, between illness and injury. I know it will increase as I continue to feel better. Edited: nope, I did more for some weeks in August… but it's the most since then for sure.

Meanwhile, I haven't been doing as well with my eating. It's a hard time of the year to be disciplined, and I have fallen down a bit this week. I lost 1.8 lb over 3 weeks, but then gained 2.2 lb this week. Sigh… I am still above my goal weight for Weight Watchers, so I have to pay weekly fees. You'd think that would motivate me, but it's been challenging. But being able to racewalk again is helping my mood, which will help with my eating, and hopefully start an upward spiral.

There's a lot of work ahead, with eating and with training. Time to get serious.

3 days in a row :)

This morning my legs felt a bit tired, but the weird pain wasn't bothering me, so I decided I'd have a go at racewalking. Of course, it was snowing as predicted, so I went to the field house and walked on the indoor 211m track. It always seems harder to me to walk there than to walk on a regular track or to walk outside. The tight turns, the warm building (warmer than I'd like for racewalking anyway), and the number of laps make it tougher. So I brought some music (which I don't usually do during workouts) and decided I'd try to enjoy it as much as possible.

My legs felt fine until about 3km, when they got tired, and yes, I had some of the odd pain. But it didn't keep me from working out well, though my HR was a bit high for the speed.

I did the 6K at 6:20/km in 38:02 with ave HR 154. Yay!

Progress! (just before winter...)

I'm finally feeling sure that I am making good progress. Yesterday I did 5K easy, and today I did 8K easy. My legs hurt a bit today in that weird way, starting at 3.5K, but only a little - and it didn't hinder me from a decent time of 49:25 for 8K (6:10/km) with average HR of 149. Garmin data here.

Better yet, my legs only hurt a little bit today at work, even though I spent a good hour sitting at the microscope doing injections, and another hour sitting in a seminar. I feel fully recovered this evening, and in fact, I'd like to walk tomorrow, assuming the forecast snow dump doesn't stop me. I might just go ahead and walk at the field house on the indoor track. We'll see.

I'm really excited that I'm feeling better - finally! Too bad there's a huge storm coming tonight and winter is really here. No matter. I'm happy to be feeling decent at last. Not to say there won't be any more setbacks or problems, because after all I am still not sure what the problem was other than B12 deficiency (for sure) and protein deficiency (undiagnosed - possible not certain).

In other news, I have taken off a few pounds, weighing in at 158.6 this morning, which is the first time I've been under 160 in about a month (or so...not sure). That's not great, since my goal WW weight is 155, but it's progress toward recapturing my goal. Racing weight is lower still, but let's take baby steps toward that. I'll get back there - just have to get in the swing of training again, and continue being more disciplined with my eating.

catching up again

I've pretty much been neglecting this blog. Weird, because I've been doing a bit better overall, but life has been more insane than usual. Namely, I got a terrible stomach flu in the middle of the night after Thanksgiving, and spent the entire night worshipping the porcelain god. Yeah, it was ugly. The next day, I had chills and hot flashes, had terrible muscle pain all over, and was weak as a kitten. The good news? I felt OK by Saturday and was able to enjoy that day with my family, cleaning up the house, getting the Christmas decorations out, making turkey soup, and attending the sing-along Messiah at Abravanel Hall with my mom and Grace.

Since November 18, the last time I updated this blog, I've been racewalking a fair amount, and my legs have been holding up OK. I *might* be ready to start light training again soon. Maybe. I did a lot of cross-training from the 19th-23rd --- weather was nasty (cold rain) and I didn't have to racewalk, so I stayed warm in the gym. Last Sunday, the 24th, I did 6.25k in 39:25 for 6:19/km. On Tuesday the 26th, I did 8K (yay!) rather slowly, at about 6:27/km (missing 1km at the start, which was faster than the other km, so perhaps overall this might have been low 6:20s). I was a little tired and just took it easy.

Then on Thursday the 28th, I did the Cold Turkey 6K race, as is my Thanksgiving Day custom. The weather was cold at 33F (1C), but in the sun it felt warmer than that and I was good in just a long-sleeved shirt, tights, and gloves. I knew I wouldn't be able to race it hard, so I settled on doing it at a moderate-moderately hard pace. Garmin data here. I definitely worked it moderately hard, which is harder than perhaps I should have gone, but it was fun :). I did the race with Calvin (SO awesome!) and I knew he'd be able to go faster than me (running, to my out-of-shape racewalking). I saw him about 1.5-2 min ahead of me at the turn-around up the canyon, and it looked to me like he was in good position in his age group. I focused on being happy for him and not being unhappy for myself, since I was hurting going up the hill and knew I'd be slow. In fact, I wasn't as slow as the slowest I've done this race (when I was sick and it was icy, 2-3 yrs ago), and I was satisfied with my time of 38:11 for the 6.23km (yes, the race is longer than 6K, consistently each year) for 6:08/km with average HR 156. I felt a bit sore the rest of the day, but not terribly so. The next day I was VERY sore but I am sure that was from the flu, as by that evening I was a lot better and on Saturday, 48 hr after the race, I was well recovered with just a few sore spots from the race itself (shins a bit, and abductors).

The exciting part of the race was seeing Calvin cheer me on at the finish, and then waiting to find out that indeed, he had placed first in his age group (9-11)! He was first of 7 boys, and at age 9, one of the youngest, AND beat the next boy by almost FOUR minutes. I think he has some talent! I was SO proud of him! He was thrilled, too - and that was a kick to see. He seems excited to do another race, as well.

This was the first race we've done together (besides a Wasatch Walkers 3K when he was 3, and I don't really count that...he ran it instead of walking, because at 3 he couldn't understand - though the club was nice and let him do it). Actually, I guess the VERY first race we did together was in 2005, when he was 1 - it was my first race too. I pushed him in the stroller and won a 3rd place ribbon for the female stroller division :), which got me hooked on racing right from the start. Hopefully Calvin's win will have a similar effect!

I did win the walking division, as well. One never knows about this, because it's not judged and sometimes runners misunderstand and enter and think run/walk is OK. But this year people were honest, and I was happy for the win :). Full results here.

Getting sick pretty much derailed any thought of a Friday or Saturday workout, but by this morning I thought I might manage 5K decently enough. I asked Calvin if he wanted to come with me, and he did! He seemed a bit off this morning, and actually struggled to keep up with me. I think he might have a touch of the stomach virus. We did 5K in an easy 31:33 for 6:18/km, and my average HR was only 133 - like I said, pretty easy, and I'd have been faster alone, but that was OK. I liked the company, even if he wasn't feeling 100%.

My legs are feeling good enough now that I think I will racewalk again tomorrow. That will be the first time I've walked 2 days in a row in quite a long time. I hope I feel good enough! I'm excited to walk again, and the weather has one more good day before we get really cold and snowy (forecast high for Tuesday is only 34F with snow... and it gets colder the rest of the week).

elliptical; 8K

Yesterday: elliptical for x-training, 53 minutes. That's what I had time for! Wanted to do an hour but had to go. Legs were still sore so maybe that was for the best? It was that weird soreness again, not too awful, but there for sure.

Today: woke feeling pretty good so decided to racewalk. During the first 1km I could feel the weird soreness, though it abated a bit as I loosened up. I felt OK - not great, but not bad - so I decided at 6K to go on to 8K; legs were pretty tired but not awful, and I finished in reasonable speed considering the small uphill. I'm paying for it a bit now (at lunch). When I've been sitting this morning analyzing DNA sequence at work, it's been a bit painful. As long as I get up and move around it's not so bad, but sitting is the kiss of death. It's not as bad as it has been, but it's not good either. I'm hoping I'll feel better later tonight and tomorrow. Worried a bit that this is a relapse, but most likely it's the usual scenario where recovery is not a nice smooth linear progression. (Did I just write that? I'm such a geek!).

Total for 8K: 49:33 for 6:11/km with ave HR 144. Garmin data here.

Thursday-Sunday

Thursday: Cross-trained with elliptical + biking to work for a total of 1 hr cardio. Felt good.

Friday: Racewalked 6.3 km around Liberty Park and to/from. Garmin data here. I felt strong for the whole walk, even the slight uphill at the end. It was chilly (4C, 39F) and raining lightly but wasn't too unpleasant. I was glad to get out. Did a pretty good 6:16/km with ave HR of only 142.

Saturday: 1 hr elliptical for x-training - too nasty outside to ride my bike, sadly. I felt quite good on the elliptical, but afterward my muscles were hurting the weird way again. I don't know how to describe it, but it's quite unpleasant. It is not delayed onset muscle soreness - it's a sharper pain, but not sharp like the acute pain of an injury. It's just really odd. It especially bothers me when sitting, and I did a LOT of sitting Saturday. Driving is the worst, because I can't move around as much. I drove a lot Saturday, to and from the Olympic Oval a couple times to watch World Cup speedskating (photo at left-awesome! Saw a world record in the ladies' 500m!), and to breakfast with Kelly, and to pick up the kids from my parents' house. Probably in the car about 3 hr total, plus sitting at the World Cup. It hurt.

Oh, also, I attended my Weight Watchers meeting. I lost 0.8 lb this week, but I can't say I was really trying that hard. I am lucky the scale moved, and I have some work to do on my eating this week.

Sunday: Was still sore when I woke up, but I wanted to try and racewalk. It didn't hurt as much as it has in the past, so I figured I had a walk in me, as long as it didn't make the pain too much worse. The kids were all gung ho to go with me! Calvin wanted to run alongside me, and he can now run faster than I can race walk, though he doesn't have my endurance, even in my weakened state. He had to stop and rest a couple times but he made it the whole 6K with me :). I was really proud of him. Grace came along as well and rollerbladed, but got tired after 4.5K and waited for us in the car. They had a great time and I'm sure we'll do this again - but today marks a major milestone - the first time I took the kids on a training walk! OK, so I'm not in rigorous training, but it's just great to know that they can start to enjoy this with me! Calvin commented that it was so nice to have someone to talk to, and he was correct. I thoroughly enjoyed their company.

I did better than I thought I would on the walk, considering how iffy I felt. My muscles were sore, but it didn't hurt my performance too much. I did 37:32 for 6:15/km with ave HR 141. Of course we did stop a few times to get drinks for the kids/rest a bit, so I probably would've been a bit slower if I hadn't rested, but I still felt all right. Garmin data here.  I kept things loose in the afternoon by walking the dog briskly with my mom for an hour - enjoyable! The weather was chilly this morning at 38F (3C) but this afternoon it was lovely at 52F (11C) and sunny. I'm enjoying these nice fall days while they last. My legs felt OK the rest of the afternoon - sore in that weird way, but not horribly so. Better than yesterday. I got a bit worried that maybe things are getting worse again; however, I'm thinking it's just the usual 3 steps forward, 2 steps back of recovery. We'll see how I feel tomorrow; I'm planning elliptical/stationary bike at the gym, with possibly some racewalking on Tuesday.

recovery; 6K

After my 8K Sunday I was pretty sore! I don't know why that surprised me, but what was more interesting was that it was 80-90% the normal delayed onset muscle soreness one gets from unaccustomed activity, and only 10-20% of that weird soreness I've been having the last few months. I was so relieved to have the usual muscle soreness - I can't explain it, but it just felt good and normal. Unfortunately, it bothered me enough that racewalking on Monday or Tuesday wasn't really a good idea. I was OK with that, and know it's going to take time to get back in shape. As long as I see progress, it's good.

So on Monday & Tuesday, I did the elliptical ~40 min and then biked to work, so I'd have a bit over an hour of good cardio. I recovered well from that.

This morning I felt ready to go - so I planned a walk with Kelly. Her knee is better but not 100% yet, so she racewalked some and ran some. She had to leave early to study for a quiz, so she only walked 20 min with me, but that was super. I continued on and did a total of 6K, and it felt good just like it did on Sunday. I felt strong and able to push myself, which I haven't felt all year, really. It just felt so good. Admittedly, I did tire and the last km or so wasn't as easy, but it felt OK. And best of all, I have only felt a bit of that weird soreness today. I almost feel normal. Almost. Not quite. But I'm encouraged!

My plan is to cross-train again tomorrow and hope to racewalk on Friday again with Kelly :). If I'm feeling brave enough maybe I'll be able to racewalk on Saturday too? But if not, for sure on Sunday I hope. I just hope this trend continues. Finally.

***

Oh, I forgot my time for today. Fast! 37:08 for 6:11/km and ave HR 143. Garmin data here.

Another week gone by...

Since I haven't been training, it's been easier to post less frequently. But things are looking up and I might post more often now, depending on how things go.

This week has been a good one, continuing the upward trend. I continue to have a good amount of energy to get through each day, and I am more able to exercise. Yay! It wasn't a good week at all in the food department, but that's another story. I will address that issue below.

Exercise:
Monday: 40 min elliptical
Tuesday: 45 min elliptical
Wednesday & Thursday: rest days - but due to lack of time, not energy - this one falls into the poor planning department. Usually exercise is my #1 priority, but I kind of blew it this week. I was presenting zebrafish stuff to my kids' classes Thursday morning and just didn't plan far enough in advance, so those days were full of last-minute cramming and extra work to make up for missed hours. Enough said. Lame excuse, but it is what it is.
Friday: 5K racewalk with Kelly (YAY! Kelly's knee is getting better!), in 31:45 for 6:20/km. My legs felt really very good and didn't hurt much afterward. Amazing!
Saturday: 1 hour elliptical
Sunday: 8K racewalk in 48:29 for 6:03/km with ave HR 147! Wooo hoo! Some good speed, and my legs didn't give out at the end, and they have just been moderately sore the rest of the day. In fact, after my racewalk I still had enough energy and stamina for a nice easy 2.5K walk to church and then back once the service was over. 8K is the longest walk I've done since September 16, and this is the fastest I've walked 8K in a much longer time than that. Am I really on the mend? I'm almost daring to hope that I am.

I have continued to eat more protein, and more of everything else as well, contributing to some serious weight gain. I'm not beating myself up, just stating it like it is. I finally bit the bullet and went to Weight Watchers on Saturday. I needed to 'fess up and move on. I needed my meeting and the accountability. I weighed in at 163.8 lb (74.5 kg), way over my goal weight of 155 lb, and way more than the 148 lb that I like to race at. I had to pay for being overweight for the first time in 7 years. I thought it would be humiliating, but honestly, it was refreshing to be back, to get my head on straight, and to start over fresh. I am going to attend every week until I feel things are back to normal again, and then go back to a couple times a month. It will take a while to take the weight off, but I'm OK with that. I just need things to get moving in the right direction again.

Back to exercise: so why am I feeling better? My best guess is B12 and protein deficiency combined to make me feel lousy (fatigue, sore muscles, pain) and once the B12 levels were up I still wasn't eating enough protein until the end of September when I realized that might be a problem. It's not Weight Watchers' fault - I wasn't following their good health guidelines very well. Because of my racewalking, I cut way back on dairy, which in retrospect was probably not the problem with my GI distress (I'm still not sure what causes my runner's trots, but I suspect it's a combination of a sensitive intestinal tract and eating just a little too much the day before a long walk? I also think the higher protein diet is helping a lot with that - we'll see when I get back to long walks again). In addition, I was trying to eat less meat to be more environmentally friendly and more healthful. I wasn't conscientious about replacing it with nuts or legumes, and therefore I actually wasn't eating enough protein when I started calculating how many grams I was getting per day - rare for an American, but seemingly true for me. Now that I'm on B12 supplements and eating more protein, I hope I will continue to feel better and get back to my new normal: athletic and enjoying it!

I had the best time on my walk this morning - I just felt so normal again! I saw my friend Henry at the park, stopped to chat a bit and told him I was feeling better. The weather was just lovely - chilly but sunny and calm, and SO beautiful. It was only 37F (about 3C) but our fall weather has been so amazing this year...I know the snow is coming but I'm in denial. Anyway, it was gorgeous today, and I was just SO VERY HAPPY that my legs felt decent. They felt pretty good until the last 1km, and yeah, I got tired. But it was a more normal tired and not that horrible pain-tired I've been having (well, maybe a little bit). The rest of the day I have had some soreness when I sit too long, but it's been pretty good, really. I am going to cross-train tomorrow, but plan to RW on Tuesday with Kelly.

Here's my Garmin data for the walk today.

the week in review

It's been a whole week since I've blogged. This week has been much better than last week. I've felt pretty darn good - more energy, and able to exercise more.

Monday-Wednesday: 45 min elliptical each day. Felt good!
Thursday: up a bit too late, so only managed to bike to work, but still felt good.
Friday: 1 hour elliptical. Longest I've worked out in a while, and I recovered well from it :).
Saturday: 30 min elliptical + bike to work to do some stuff. Body felt good.
Sunday: Got brave and decided to racewalk for the first time in 2 weeks. I wish I could say it felt good. It felt OK-ish during, and my legs have been stiff and sore since. It's 3pm now and they are hurting a bit especially when sitting. I stretched thoroughly afterward but not sure it helped (don't think it hurt though). I did it at 6:21/km pace for 31:45 total time for the 5K. Not bad. I just wish I didn't hurt.

I told Loren this morning that I was just so glad I'd been able to work out more this week. I really need it for my mental health and for my general sense of well-being, never mind the fact that I also like to eat and therefore need exercise to help keep my weight in check. I hope I'll be able to racewalk again, but if I can't, I will learn to live with that somehow. Not being able to exercise at all would be much, much worse.

I'll play the next couple days by ear. I expect to be sore since I haven't RW in 2 weeks, but I also hope I'll recover well so I can RW later this week. But if it is RW that is messing me up, I will give it up if I have to in order to be able to work out. I have just been SO glad to feel better that it has shifted my perspective monumentally. It's not that I don't fervently hope I can RW again, it's just that I have to prioritize right now. Health is #1, and being able to do some kind of exercise is much more important than being able to racewalk. Feeling good and healthy is such a gift.

Thursday-Sunday

Thursday: felt a bit better. The 30 min on the elliptical didn't hurt as much.

Friday: elliptical + biked to work for total of 45 min cardio. I felt surprisingly good.

Saturday: 45 min elliptical. Still felt surprisingly good.

Sunday: Woke up more sore than I'd like, probably from Friday's bicycling. Hiked with my mom for 45 min (2.75 miles) and that felt pretty good and loosened things up. The fall weather here has been amazing and the leaves are SO lovely (see pic at left)...wish this weather could stay a bit longer. Later, I biked to book club and then up to work, then biked to a friend's home and then home. Feeling pretty decent right now. Hoping I don't pay for all this tomorrow, but I suspect I will. Off to bed soon so that I can get up early for some elliptical tomorrow.

Been eating much better yesterday & today. Right now my #1 priority is to eat right and get in as much exercise as possible. No racewalking for now - I just need to keep my weight under control and feel better if possible. Racewalking was making things worse and so I just have to take a bit of a break from it. I should probably swim, but I'm just not feeling the love right now. I'm reserving the swim card for later, if it needs to be played.

more of the same

Elliptical Monday-Wednesday, 30 min/day.

Legs very sore :(. Took some naprosyn today and it didn't seem to make a dent in the soreness.

Thinking about what course of action to pursue next to try and get some help.

sore

I'm pretty sore today. Just 5K yesterday was enough to do it. ARRRGH! SO FRUSTRATED!

Did 30 min elliptical this morning. Spent the rest of the day annoyed at my sore muscles. Mostly ate pretty well, at least. That's something anyway.

I haven't been feeling depressed again, thankfully. Just frustrated, angry, irritated, pent-up, wanting-to-racewalk-but-dreading-the-aftermath. Annoyed that my boss and his wife did a half marathon last weekend and both did really well...happy for them, yes, but just so annoyed that I couldn't do it too. Irritated that my Facebook friends are all having lots of fun at the races. Stressed that I am still not feeling better. Angry at myself for being such a schmuck when others I see walking through the hospital on my way to work every day have much worse problems.

That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Just getting it out there.

cross-training; hiking; 5K

Thursday, despite fighting off a cold, I did 30 min elliptical and then 15 min stationary bike before going on vacation with my family to Southern Utah. We enjoyed an awesome hike in Dead Horse Point State Park on Friday, and then a hike in the Fiery Furnace in Arches National Park on Saturday before returning home to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday. Whew!

My legs actually hurt a lot from the car ride on Thursday, but they felt fine hiking - no problems whatsoever. We hiked about 6K (3.7 miles) on Friday, and then a bit more (2-3K?) Friday night on a night hike with the park ranger. Then Saturday we hiked 2 miles (3.2K) in the Fiery Furnace, with lots of scrambling and some beginning rock-climbing moves. I wasn't sore at all from that either.

Today I decided to do 5K, because I could, and my legs felt recovered. I was pretty slow, doing 5K at 6:20/km with ave HR 146. I felt OK - legs weren't sore much during the walk. However, now after a few hours, my legs are starting to hurt, mostly in the glutes. It feels like I've done a hard weight training workout - too many lunges or something. It feels much worse when sitting, so standing is better, though not terribly convenient when you want to edit photos, watch football, etc.

My diet hasn't been the best as you might guess, between camping and birthday cake. My weight is a bit out-of-control at the moment. Time to re-strategize and figure this out.

I just wish I knew what was wrong. I wish I knew what to do to make my legs feel better. My fatigue level has improved a significant amount over the last week, so maybe my legs will follow? But I have to assume that might not happen and plan accordingly. I am not exercising like an athlete now, so it's time to stop eating like I am. That will be more difficult than it sounds, but I have a few ideas to tackle the problem. I need to start acting on my alternate plans for when I feel like eating - other things I can do instead. I have been saying this for a while...now time to DO something, before it gets worse.

On the bright side, some photos from our trip:

cross-training, 6K

Yesterday: 30 min elliptical

Today: 6K. My legs didn't feel as recovered as they did on Monday, but they didn't feel horrible either. It was a crisp fall morning, clear and 40F (4C), and it felt good to be out. My legs were OK until the 5K mark, when they started to really hurt. At least I only had 1K left at that point. I was pretty fast through 5K, too - yeah, it's a net downhill, but not really steep or anything, but I still got to 5K at 6:03/km pace (about 30:15 --- gee that's only 20 sec slower than my race a couple wk ago...sigh.........). Then I slowed a lot on the last uphill, finishing in 37:00 for 6:10/km with ave HR 152.

Now (at lunch time), my legs feel quite sore and very tired. Grrrrrr. I WANT TO FEEL BETTER! I want to walk 10K without muscle pain. That apparently is too much to ask right now. I will have to adjust expectations and be patient, two things I'm obviously not very good at. At least there's no pressure of an impending race.

Garmin data here.

rest day, 6K

Yesterday I took a rest day. My legs felt pretty good, so I thought about swimming or other x-training, but was busy working for 90 min or so and also helping a friend paint, so I opted to skip it.

This morning I woke up and my legs didn't feel too sore! They were a bit sore, but it wasn't painful to bend over and tie my shoes like it has been. My glutes weren't screaming at me from the stretch needed to tie shoes (with bent knee). I figured that was good. So I went for a walk with Adriana; we planned on 5-8km depending on how we felt. I thought I'd make 5km but doubted I'd go farther than that. I was pleasantly surprised that my legs felt OK at 2.5km, so I suggested we turn around at 3km and if we felt like more then we could do more when we got back to our cars. By 5km my legs were tired and somewhat sore, but nothing like how sore they have been on some other days. I was ready to stop at 6km, but I could have done more if I'd had to. My legs have felt decent so far today (it's lunch time), though I will cop to taking a couple naprosyn prophylactically.

We did the 6km slow and easy, finishing in 38:25 for 6:24/km (though my watch was off badly for the first 500m (3:46???!??? - know it was not more than 3:10 or so), so it was probably more like 37:45 for the 6K?). Anyway, regardless, my ave HR was 145, so it was a nice easy day and felt OK. I need more days like this. I'm going to allow myself to have a little hope that maybe things are done getting worse? OK, it's only been a couple days of feeling better.

I'm still eating the higher-protein diet, averaging probably 80g protein per day. I wonder if that is helping? It will be 2 weeks of that tomorrow.

Garmin data here.

Can't leave the blog alone...

I guess I need the therapy of writing this, of getting my thoughts on "paper".

Not surprisingly, it's been a tough week. I rested Sunday after the race, and was extremely sore. Glutes, hamstrings, right shin, obliques. Monday I was even more sore, but felt I needed to work the kinks out of my muscles, so I opted for 30 min elliptical. Tuesday, I did 30 min elliptical and I biked to work. That was rough on me - I hurt badly on Wednesday-Friday, but still managed elliptical at least 25 min each day.

Last night I was feeling better. I got a text from Stevie's dad, suggesting I join Stevie for 10K. Well, I thought 10K rather unlikely, but figured a little company for 5K would be lovely, and so I went. Stevie took off like a shot, and I stayed with him, though we did slow a good amount on the way back. There was a lot of frost on the section of the parkway that has the wooden walkway over the swampy area, and we had zero toe push there, so that was slow too. Yes...I said frost. It was 43F (6C) this morning, but near the river it was a bit cooler and there was some frost.

Enjoyed the walk a lot, though the last 2km hurt a good amount. Did the 5K in 31:14 with a high ave HR of 150. Afterward, I took an ice bath. Yes, an ice bath for 5km. Sad but true. Coach thinks it might help, and hey, can't hurt. OK, yes it can hurt! It was freeeeezing cold and I have Reynaud's phenomenon, which was acting up for a couple hours afterward. A mug of hot tea and cranking the heat in the car on the way to Calvin's soccer game eased things up a bit. Despite all that, I think the ice bath helped. My legs are sore but not as bad as it has been sometimes.

I miss racewalking SO much. It felt so good for the first 2.5K, and I wanted so much to keep walking. My boss is doing a half marathon in southern Utah next weekend, and I expressed jealousy. He said, "You can still sign up!" and I had to explain that I could not do it - no way. I know I'd never get through the race. He said, "You could walk". Hahahahaha. I doubt I could even walk casually for 13.1 miles right now. I would love nothing more than to do that race. It made me want to cry. Finally he said, "Oh. I'll shut up now." Thanks...

I admit that last night I felt depressed. I allowed myself to wallow in it a bit. I haven't done that much at all (yet) and have been impressed that though moody, I've managed to keep my head up. But I'm worried that I can't take much more of this. The muscle pain, the sadness from missing my sport, the weight gain due to comfort eating (duh) are getting to be too much. I have avoided the nasty pit of depression, but with winter coming on and being prone to seasonal affective disorder, I will admit to being afraid.

I have a few strategies left to combat this. I have to work harder to get more sleep and to eat right. That makes everything feel better. Eating right has proven to be quite a challenge, though eating more protein the last couple weeks has helped somewhat. I need to have a bit more time to myself, so maybe I will ask Loren to do a bit more around the house, if he can. At the moment he's furloughed from work because of the gov't shutdown, so theoretically he can help; however, he's had a nasty cold which has messed with everything.

Well, seeing this on "paper" has helped me realize I need to do a little more planning and strategizing. I have a bit of time this weekend and hopefully can get an hour to myself to think.

National Masters 5K

The weekend was lovely, except for the race. It was great to see everyone (photo with my friend Lis below), Tennessee was beautiful, and I enjoyed myself. The redeye flight out there wasn't so great, and I didn't sleep enough, so I'm tired now, but that didn't diminish my pleasure in the weekend in general.

The race? Yeah, worse than expected. I hoped for low 29s. Barely squeezed under 30 min, and my heart rate was ridiculously high, averaging 167. My legs hurt from end of the first km on, and now (2 days later) they are very painful --- like I'm recovering from a hard half marathon, not a 5K race.

I did come in 2nd place, but that's not saying so much when I was the youngest in the race except for two teenagers (age 14). I was first in my age group...but then again, I was the ONLY one in my age group. Hey, I didn't get DQ'd!

The course was slightly hilly - slight downhill for 1st 500, slight uphill for 2nd 500 in each lap (1k/lap). It also had a complex turn at one end, so I'd say most people were slowed 30 sec-1 min by the course (vs. a fast, flat course). So maybe I would have done low 29s? No matter. The weather was perfect - 13C (55F) and very humid, which was no biggie since it wasn't hot that early. It was warmer for the men's race.

Garmin data here.

I'm frustrated but I'm doing OK. Mostly.

I'm going to take a break from racewalking, and therefore probably from my blog as well, for a little while. I will walk some for exercise, as I'm able, but will not train. I'll try to update if there is any good news or even bad news or something about my condition changes. I know I could blog about trying to lose the weight I've gained or something potentially useful, but honestly, I'm too tired and too afraid I'd be too negative. It takes a lot of energy right now to just try and stay positive in real life, and adding in the blog makes it harder.

Hopefully I'll be back soon.