Can't leave the blog alone...

I guess I need the therapy of writing this, of getting my thoughts on "paper".

Not surprisingly, it's been a tough week. I rested Sunday after the race, and was extremely sore. Glutes, hamstrings, right shin, obliques. Monday I was even more sore, but felt I needed to work the kinks out of my muscles, so I opted for 30 min elliptical. Tuesday, I did 30 min elliptical and I biked to work. That was rough on me - I hurt badly on Wednesday-Friday, but still managed elliptical at least 25 min each day.

Last night I was feeling better. I got a text from Stevie's dad, suggesting I join Stevie for 10K. Well, I thought 10K rather unlikely, but figured a little company for 5K would be lovely, and so I went. Stevie took off like a shot, and I stayed with him, though we did slow a good amount on the way back. There was a lot of frost on the section of the parkway that has the wooden walkway over the swampy area, and we had zero toe push there, so that was slow too. Yes...I said frost. It was 43F (6C) this morning, but near the river it was a bit cooler and there was some frost.

Enjoyed the walk a lot, though the last 2km hurt a good amount. Did the 5K in 31:14 with a high ave HR of 150. Afterward, I took an ice bath. Yes, an ice bath for 5km. Sad but true. Coach thinks it might help, and hey, can't hurt. OK, yes it can hurt! It was freeeeezing cold and I have Reynaud's phenomenon, which was acting up for a couple hours afterward. A mug of hot tea and cranking the heat in the car on the way to Calvin's soccer game eased things up a bit. Despite all that, I think the ice bath helped. My legs are sore but not as bad as it has been sometimes.

I miss racewalking SO much. It felt so good for the first 2.5K, and I wanted so much to keep walking. My boss is doing a half marathon in southern Utah next weekend, and I expressed jealousy. He said, "You can still sign up!" and I had to explain that I could not do it - no way. I know I'd never get through the race. He said, "You could walk". Hahahahaha. I doubt I could even walk casually for 13.1 miles right now. I would love nothing more than to do that race. It made me want to cry. Finally he said, "Oh. I'll shut up now." Thanks...

I admit that last night I felt depressed. I allowed myself to wallow in it a bit. I haven't done that much at all (yet) and have been impressed that though moody, I've managed to keep my head up. But I'm worried that I can't take much more of this. The muscle pain, the sadness from missing my sport, the weight gain due to comfort eating (duh) are getting to be too much. I have avoided the nasty pit of depression, but with winter coming on and being prone to seasonal affective disorder, I will admit to being afraid.

I have a few strategies left to combat this. I have to work harder to get more sleep and to eat right. That makes everything feel better. Eating right has proven to be quite a challenge, though eating more protein the last couple weeks has helped somewhat. I need to have a bit more time to myself, so maybe I will ask Loren to do a bit more around the house, if he can. At the moment he's furloughed from work because of the gov't shutdown, so theoretically he can help; however, he's had a nasty cold which has messed with everything.

Well, seeing this on "paper" has helped me realize I need to do a little more planning and strategizing. I have a bit of time this weekend and hopefully can get an hour to myself to think.