Soul searching

Saturday, after the PT on Friday, my hammy really hurt. A lot. Like 2-3, maybe 4 at times, while racewalking 8k on the Jordan River Parkway. Ugh. It was terrible. I wanted to do 20K, then realized it was gonna be 10-12K, then had to stop at 8K.

Sunday night I picked up the pianist (and his mom, and two teachers) that we are hosting for the Gina Bachauer Junior Competition this week. Things got busier from there. I did take a rest day on Sunday, but it was busy getting ready for our guests.

Monday morning I went out for 6K, and it felt OK. But I was slow, and tired. Every time I pull my hamstring it shortens up my stride because I get paranoid about hurting it, and then I lose my toe-off, and then I'm really slow. I did 6:37/km. Oh yay.

Tuesday I was supposed to do 8K, but I was up late Monday night for the piano competition opening gala, and I was way too tired to get up and walk. So I didn't. I was angry about the hammy and frustrated and tired.

Wednesday I did the 8K, and it went OK; better than Monday but still sluggish. I did 6:32/km. I was talking with friends Wednesday night and journaling some and realizing that something has to give in my life. I'm too busy and it's not good for me or the kids or Loren or work or RW or anything else. But I don't know what to give up.

Today I was to do a 5K fartlek. I woke up tired with a sore throat and just looked in the mirror and said "I don't have to do this any more. Maybe I need to give competitive racewalking a rest." So I went to the gym and did the elliptical and did my PT - including all of the eccentric exercises. It felt OK during, but later, at work, my hammy hurt annoyingly any time I sat more than 15 minutes.

So, right now I'm thinking that I need to consider carefully whether I need a break or not. I'm thinking a break might help my hamstring to recover, though when I e-mailed my PT about that he said he thought I could continue training, albeit at a reduced volume.

I just don't know what to do.

But hey, at the moment I'm enjoying a Chopin Etude, courtesy of my 13-year-old guest prodigy. That's awesome at least.

Cross-training

Today: PT exercises in earnest (I've been slacking a bit since going to San Diego) and then 40 min on the elliptical. I slept a bit longer and better last night and am feeling less tired today. After yesterday's speed work, I am keeping close tabs on my hamstring; I had some sciatica yesterday with sitting - fairly mild, but annoying - but today it feels 100% fine. It isn't even bothering me when I climb stairs, which is good :).

Tonight I'm taking Calvin to the symphony, so we'll see how it feels after sitting :/. They're performing Saint-Saens piano concerto #5, which is a wonderful piece, so I am excited to go.

one foot in front of the other

These days, it's just one foot in front of the other. Try to get some good exercise. Go to work. Limp around, because my toe is still painful for ordinary walking. Try not to dwell on that misfortune. Focus on eating as well as I can given the circumstances, reminding myself that self-care is a good gift that will pay dividends. Then, forgetting. Overindulging, and re-remembering.

Along the way, some good insights happen. This was a really musical week; I spent a lot of time arranging a piece for SATB quartet with a friend from church, and then rehearsing and performing it. In addition, there was working on other choir pieces, giving piano lessons to the kids, practicing my clarinet for next week's choir piece, and today after church, kids' and adult choir rehearsal (with me and my broken toe squeezed into small organ shoes, sight-reading a nifty seasonal arrangement), and finally women's ensemble. Oh, and Friday night Loren and my mom and I went to the symphony to hear Beethoven's Ninth, which was very well done. I'm loving the music, which is my insight of the week, along with the need for some silent time, encouraged by our pastor in today's sermon.

I'm also trying to do a little reading while I cross-train. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I only managed about 30 min elliptical each day, as my body was fatigued. I'm not sure if it's the mystery illness, as I've had some leg soreness that seems akin to the weird soreness (especially after Wednesday's killer 90-min spin session), or maybe the seasonal busyness, but I crashed and needed a nap and some alone time today. That brings me back to the reading. I'm reading a book of short stories (fiction), a book about introversion (non-fiction), and a couple other things. I'm one to read as many books as possible at the same time.

And, I am thinking to take a break from most social media for a bit; the holiday season is really busy, and I want to pare down so that I can enjoy the things that matter most. I'll keep blogging, as it's more for me than for anyone else. Who knew that I would ever think writing is therapeutic (I generally dislike writing and avoid it whenever possible; part of the reason I'm in molecular biology is that I wanted a career in which writing wasn't necessary)? But a little blogging seems good for the soul, or something like that.

This week: spin class tomorrow, I think. Then, whatever my body allows. It's a balancing act, learning all over to care for myself, my family, and do my work. As seasons in life change, I must adapt, and figure out how to cope with the curve balls I've been thrown, whether it's a mystery illness, a broken toe, or something much more difficult.

My apologies for the rambling. It's good to get things out and explore them in writing.

rest days, cross-training, 3K fartlek,

My life has been pretty much insane this week. Good thing it's an easy RW week!

Sunday was an optional day. I rested.

Monday was a cross-training day. I rested. I was exhausted from the rest of my life. We are hosting a competitor for the Gina Bachauer Young Artists (age 14-18) piano competition, and it's a lot of work. Fun, but busy.

Tuesday I was supposed to do a 3K fartlek. I cross-trained instead, doing 45 min on the elliptical while the kids were at figure skating lessons.

Today was supposed to be a cross-training day, but I decided to do the 3K fartlek I'd missed doing. The weather was great - 59F (15C) and sunny and clear early this morning. I warmed up well in 9:21 for 1600m with 2x100m fast. I did my dynamic stretching and started the fartlek. It was good but not great. The first 1km was 5:24 (2:40, 2:44) and then the recovery 2:56, then 500m fast in 2:41, 500m medium in 2:59, and finally 500m fast in 2:42 for 16:43.5 total. I just didn't have that extra zip that I did the day I did 16:18 a few weeks ago, but this was still pretty decent considering the week I've had.

Tomorrow I will do my scheduled 10km early in the morning.

***

Besides the piano competition, it's busy at work. I have to present data at our lab meeting tomorrow and I'm a bit nervous. Technicians usually don't present at lab meeting - typically that's for postdocs and grad students - but since I'm a senior level technician and I enjoy the challenge, I get to present. It's just a bit of bad timing to have it this week. Oh well...I'm close to being ready. Have a few papers to read tonight on some techniques I want to use on my project; I need to be able to cogently present them to the lab. Our lab meeting is pretty big because it's our lab (7 people) plus another neighboring lab that also does neuroscience on zebrafish.

Too much to do to keep blogging........

no news yet...concert pics instead!

No news on the leg yet. Had the MRI at 7 am; thinking I might call the doc and find out if they know anything yet.

***

Meanwhile, a blog post on the U2 concert. It was an amazing experience - the lights, the sound, the set - incredible! I like U2 a lot, though I'm not a die-hard fan like my husband. I still had a great time at this terrific performance. It would have been better if I wasn't so tired and cold (it was in the low 50s but slightly windy and I didn't dress warmly enough for sitting/standing a lot). It was quite a show, though, and I don't regret going at all, even though we didn't get home until almost midnight. With my MRI at 7 am, I didn't get in a workout (yet). I'm thinking to go to the gym tonight for a little elliptical.

More pictures here.

PNO Scan

My acoustic piano (a Steinway grand) is now also a digital piano, thanks to the magic of PNO Scan. It's basically a sensor strip that goes under the keys of the piano (and to the sustain pedal) and senses the amount and duration of the pressure on the keys. I also got a mute rail installed, so that I can mute the natural piano sound, and a pair of speakers installed under the piano that plugs into my computer to transmit the computer-generated sounds. The result is that you can play the piano and have another sound come out; for example, a trumpet sound, like Calvin is demonstrating. Another very handy result is that I can play after the kids go to bed by plugging some headphones into the computer. Nice! Finally, it does a bunch of other stuff like recording music (in Garage Band on my Mac) or accompanying students, even slowing down or speeding up to stay with them (using the Home Concert Xtreme software). In a nutshell, it's awesome.

Here's a duet I recorded with myself in about 15 min of work...yeah, it's not perfect but it's just a quick and dirty project to demonstrate the concept. Fun!

Schumann Beim Kranzewinden

15K on 4 hr sleep

I don't recommend this. 15K on 4 hr sleep is not fun. I didn't get to sleep until after 1 am, because of the piano competition. They announced the results about 11 pm (sadly, Greg did not make the finals), and then Greg and I went to the store on the way home, and I was buzzing from the adrenaline of the whole thing and from the coffee I had before we went over there. Greg makes some SERIOUSLY strong coffee; good, but strong. I digress. It was at least 11:30 when we got home, and then I ended up chatting on FB with my coach and with another racewalker from Australia, David. I was also waiting up for Greg to find out about changing his plane reservations to go back tonight instead of Friday, so by the time I got to bed it was about 1 am. It took at least 15-20 min to fall asleep, and my alarm was set for 5:15 am. UGH! I had to make sure that I got back from my walk by about 7:30; the Bachauer competitors & hosts were invited to special seating at the Music and the Spoken Word broadcast this morning, with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the Orchestra at Temple Square, and we were to arrive there by 8:45 am. Whew.

So, I set off on my walk about 5:45 am. I ate a banana before leaving, because I still felt a bit shaky from the previous nights' coffee. I felt GREAT for the first 6K. I was thinking a lot about the upcoming 5K & 10K in Sacramento, and how exciting it's going to be. I just found out from the website that Katie Grimes, who I raced in the Portland Marathon as well as in Spokane in 2008, is going to be there. That means we're going to have a great race! We always push each other so well, and I'm totally looking forward to it. We are very evenly matched, though I think she has the edge in the shorter races, with a faster PR than me. So on the hilly first 6K, I thought about that and also thought about how Greg didn't make the finals last night. I still feel really disappointed about that; I thought he had a reasonable shot at it, and I'm actually quite sad that he didn't make it. This morning my sadness had a bit of an angry edge, and so I walked fast on the hills. The combination of the fast first 6K on the hills (I did about 6:30 on them) and the lack of sleep caught up with me later, however. I had a lot of trouble keeping my pace at the end, and I did slow. My legs felt heavy again today; not horribly so, but enough to feel tired and slowed down and out of sorts. Oh well. I'm not worried about this, as I think a day off (tomorrow) will cure it. But it made me slow.

The worrisome thing is my left foot. That's the one I injured last summer. I noticed a little ache in the place where I had the tendonitis (peroneus longus tendonitis, where the tendon inserts in the first metatarsal). It started about maybe 6-8K into the walk and never really hurt, but it did ache. Now, at noon, it is still aching. I did take some diclofenac, my prescription anti-inflammatory, but it's still bothering me a little. I hope this is not going to be a problem. I will rest tomorrow, do some gentle PT exercises, ice it, and take some more diclofenac, and hope for the best. I think it will be OK, but it's annoying that it's bothering me again. I also will retire the shoes I was wearing, as they have about 370 miles on them now and it's time. Hopefully all of this will make it OK.

I forgot to switch my Garmin from "biking" to "running" so the workout is in 2 segments on Garmin connect. The first was a steep uphill of 0.45km in 3:42. Then I remembered, and had to reset it and start over. GRRRR! The rest of the workout (linked here)was in 1:35:42 for a total of 1:39:24 for the 15K, or 6:37/km. Ave HR for the last 14.55 km was 148, so I was working reasonably hard. I was just slow today, and my legs were tired, and now my foot aches. Oh well. I did OK, though, and feel all right about it as long as my foot holds up. I have two exciting races coming up July 23 and 25!

Biking on Wasatch Boulevard

Today was a cross-training day. Views like this were the norm this morning on my ride. It was totally gorgeous out there. From Wasatch Boulevard, high up on the bench, you can see the whole valley stretched out beneath you. Yes, first I had to bike UP there, but it was worth it. After about 4km of relatively hard uphill, I enjoyed the rolling hills of Wasatch Blvd for another 11km or so before turning around. I took it pretty easy, though - ave 21.2 km/h; 30.61 km; 1:26:35 total time. It was SO enjoyable. I would have stayed out longer except that I didn't want to trash my legs for tomorrow's 15km.

I made it all the way to the golf course by 6200 South before turning around. Sometime I'm going to bike all the way to my parents' house in Sandy (they're at about 10000 South), I think...that might be fun!

Workout details here.

Now I'm going to spend some time listening to the last day of the Gina Bachauer International Piano Competition, assuming Loren will watch the kids for me. I think he might :). Tonight I will take Greg over there to hear the last few pianists and the jury announcement of the finalists. I truly hope he is one of them.

easy 8K

I was to do an easy 8K (5 miles) this morning. It went fine; I didn't set any land speed records, but I wasn't trying to! My foot actually felt pretty good the whole time. I ended up doing 8.28K by mistake (miscalculated return distance at one point) in 56:28, for 6:49/km or 10:59/mile.

After that I went to work to pull some plates. No colonies :(. Grrrr. Something is wrong with my @#$(*& site-directed mutagenesis and it's really annoying. Oh well...can't do anything about it 'til Tuesday so best to put it out of my mind.

Then I headed to the gym for some weight training. I did a good hard abs set, a good set of hip exercises (hip flexor, abductors) on the hip cybex machine, some cable crossovers for chest, and some heel walking. I got there late (due to having to stop in at work), but I also managed some light PT exercises. I tried to take it easy to avoid more foot pain. I did heel raises (those don't seem to hurt at all), some balancing on the dyna disk, some windmills, some lunges on the Bosu, and some dynamic lunges on the Bosu. I did 2 sets instead of the usual 3, and was generally cautious about things.

Next I drove over to the chapel our church is renting (at a school) and practiced the organ for 30 min. Gotta be ready for Easter, y'know?

Whew. 8:00 am and time to head home. That was a lot of activity for the morning! Later this morning, practicing with soloist for Easter, and then heading over to my parents' house. They are going to watch the kiddos for me a little bit so I can go shopping for their Easter candy :).

Day 35: 40 days 'til 40

Today we were listening to a song we hadn't heard in a while, and sharing it. I decided to remind myself of the fact that I used to play the piano before I had children. I really wish I had more time to play now, as I miss it a lot.

Here's a piece I played for my senior recital - I love the way it turned out. It really sounds like the melody is singing. I worked very hard to get it that way, and wonder of wonders, it actually did sound that way in the recital.

Here it is: Lizst's arrangement for piano of Schumann's art song "Widmung". A translation of the words for the art song is below as well.

You my soul, you my heart,
you my bliss, o you my pain,
you the world in which I live;
you my heaven, in which I float,
o you my grave, into which
I eternally cast my grief.

You are rest, you are peace,
you are bestowed upon me from heaven.
That you love me makes me worthy of you;
your gaze transfigures me;
you raise me lovingly above myself,
my good spirit, my better self!

Merry Christmas

We had a lot of fun today. My day started with an awesome racewalk during which I enjoyed the Christmas lights and the peace & quiet in the neighborhood. It was about 10 degrees, so pretty cold, but beautiful. Good news...the no treats for the past few weeks has paid off. The scale read 147.0 this morning :). Of course, after the treats I enjoyed today it might not stay that low. No, seriously, I did indulge but had saved points, and I exercised a lot, so probably will be OK.

After returning home, I got a quick shower and made some coffee, and my parents showed up. Calvin was awake and ready to see what Santa brought - so fun to see how excited he was! Michelle was still asleep, so Loren went in to wake her up. She said, "Don't wake up me, Daddy. Don't wake up ME!". 3 1/2 year old grammar is totally cute sometimes.

Once she was up, however, she was so thrilled to see that Santa had brought her a toy kitchen. She and Calvin both loved it, and they also loved their stockings, full of candy, fruit (pears and grapefruit, which seemed to be as much of a hit as the chocolate!), crayons, coloring books, and more. The cutest thing she said all morning was very early on - she had looked at her new kitchen carefully for 30 seconds or so, and then she said, "But there's NO FOOD!". She really wanted some toy food! Calvin then pointed at a present with her name on it, and she opened it immediately - it just happened to be one that had some toy food in it :). Very funny!

Speaking of food, we had the traditional Christmas bread my mom makes for breakfast, plus some pineapple, and of course, chocolate from our stockings. Later in the day we snacked on veggies and a light dip, a few crackers, and a cheese ball (I ate very few crackers and skipped the cheese to save calories for the good stuff). Then we had a beef roast for dinner, asparagus w/hollandaise, spring mix salad with walnuts, apples, feta, and homemade raspberry vinaigrette, and some more pineapple. For dessert, we enjoyed a peppermint stick torte I made, which is one of Loren's favorite desserts. Delicious. All the same, while I was racewalking today, it felt so great and I knew that it was worth it to keep my indulgences (like today) to a minimum so that I can stay fast :). Crazy, huh? But a good kind of crazy.

I got Loren the Wii Fit Plus for his big present. He's actually excited to use it. We tried out some of the games and they're really fun. I like the balance games (favorites were snowboarding and ski jumping), though I clearly need practice to excel at them. I tried the step aerobics, and while it was fun, it was too easy for me - barely got me breathing. Hopefully after I do it a while it will get harder Regardless, it was quite entertaining.

Oh, almost forgot...was going to mention last night, too. Our church moved to a much nicer building - we were meeting in a dingy basement (for 9 years!) but outgrew it and started renting a beautiful chapel at Rowland Hall St. Mark elementary school. It has a STEINWAY grand piano, and a PIPE ORGAN. I swear I'm in heaven!!! Our first service there was last night, and I played both the organ and piano. It was beautiful. I haven't had so much fun with music in a long time. It probably helped that I got to accompany a very good trombonist who attends our church; he played Ralph Vaughan Williams' Greensleeves. Plus I enjoyed the postlude on the organ: JS Bach's In Dulci Jubilo. Awesome.

Feels like there is so much more to tell. I know I'm missing a lot but I need to get some sleep, so will post a pic or two with this and head off for some shuteye. I will be working on more photos and a movie of the day, but that will take a while, so hang on!

Update: Pictures posting too slowly for some reason. Need sleep. Will try tomorrow, sorry!

Challenging time

This is a challenging time of year for me. The food issues are pushed to the forefront, and it takes a lot of energy to deal with it. Add in the holiday madness, driving to Seattle this weekend for my grandpa's 90th birthday (which I'm looking forward to, but it will be hard food-wise and will take more energy), and the late sunrise/early sunset, and it's just a bummer.

I love Advent, actually, so I want to have fun. We did get out the Christmas decorations, the Advent wreath, and Advent calendar, and we decorated the house. I made hot cider and hot buttered rum, listened to seasonal music, and attended the Messiah sing-in at Abravanel Hall with my friend Elizabeth.

Still...it's not been easy. I have been exercising very diligently, which helps my mood. I shudder to think what it would be like without that. I woke up super grumpy this morning, but 15 min into my workout (exercise bike 35 min, elliptical 30 min) I felt a lot better. I've been doing better on the food, but not good enough to lose the weight I gained a couple weeks ago when I ate a large excess of cookies and candy for a week straight. I was 148 lb this morning, which isn't too bad, considering.

I miss racewalking a lot. Haven't found anything yet that holds a candle to it. The elliptical is at least tolerable. The stationary bike? Ick! Swimming? So-so, probably better than the bike, but the hassle factor is higher. Today is December 1st. That means I only have 18 days until I can start to add in some racewalking again, when my two months of rest are up. And I will be counting every one of them! Even when I can start to RW again, I will have to build up slowly and carefully to make sure I don't re-injure my foot or hurt something else by doing too much too soon. So I'll still be in the gym for a while, doing the elliptical and the bike.

I'm muddling through, I guess. Just keep on going, one foot in front of the other, and look forward to the little things in life.

Kindermusik fun!

 Michelle enjoying Kindermusik class :)! We have SUCH a great time together. This morning was our last class for the semester (boo hoo!) but luckily we are signed up for a summer class in June :).

Last little warm-up

This morning I did 30 min easy. I was only going to do 20 min, but it was just so nice to be outside that I couldn't resist. My right hip is still kinda sore, but it's nothing that is going to keep me from doing a lot of miles, I don't think. I stretched it really well and am using the tennis ball to work out the kinks, too.

Will post again tomorrow or maybe Sunday if I am too tired and/or busy on Saturday. We have plans for Saturday night ---- dinner out and the symphony :). They are playing Beethoven's 4th symphony and Rachmaninoff's 2nd piano concerto. Yay!

Piano recital

 
My students had their recital tonight. I am very proud of the hard work they have done, and how far they have come!

Day 26: 40 days 'til 39 - update & photos

Symphony update ... I took Callie (our friend Dean's daughter) with me to the symphony, and we had an enjoyable evening.

Brief review - the piano soloist was OK. Sort of a mixed bag, honestly. I really loved some things he did: exquisite pianissimos, delicate fast passage work, and attention to fine details of phrasing. However, I thought his forte passages had a harsh, banging quality, and his interpretation of the piece was overly romanticized, to the point that I found myself rolling my eyes over it. He also had a somewhat irritating habit of conducting himself, and he tended to sing along rather loudly at times. But his performance had lots of energy and enthusiasm, and the audience ate it up, even if I wasn't quite as excited about it. I still love the Tchaikovsky concerto, and it was a pleasure to hear it live. After intermission, the orchestra played Brahms' Symphony #1, and though the interpretation was a bit pedantic at times, I enjoyed it quite a lot and truly appreciated the beauty of the 2nd movement and the drama of the 4th. I'm glad I got to hear both of these terrific pieces up close and personal.

Day 26: 40 days 'til 39

We had to change our schedule around a bit - originally we had planned a massage for today, but then I had some friends come in from out of town so we changed things up. I invited Sarah to come to the symphony with me tonight instead, but she can't because of being on call, so I am taking the daughter of our friends from out of town with me instead, and Sarah is going to listen to recordings of what they are playing tonight.

I am SO excited about this concert - it's Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto #1, which I adore even if it IS an old warhorse, and Brahms Symphony #1. I have already mentioned in my blog that Brahms is my favorite composer, and his first symphony is truly marvelous. It took something like 20 years before he felt he had a symphony worthy of publishing (that's off the top of my head), because he was so meticulous and had such high standards of craftsmanship for his work. Anyway, it's an amazing piece, and I'm so glad I get to hear both of these pieces live. I've been looking forward to this concert for a long time!

If I remember, I will post more about it after I attend, maybe tomorrow. It's pretty busy with our friends here but I'll try to find some time.

Day 3: 40 days 'til 39

T-minus 37 until our birthdays!

Today we are exchanging recordings of our favorite classical music. Both Sarah and I are total musicophiles. She is a superb violinist and dabbles in the piano, and I play the piano, the clarinet, and the organ (OK, so I'm not a very good organist, but I do play it!).

My favorite composer is Brahms. I love the complexity and craftsmanship of his music, and he does all of that without neglecting the emotional component that is so essential to great compositions.

Today's selection is the final movement (Vivace) from Brahms' clarinet sonata #1. It fits my mood perfectly today. It's triumphant, joyful, and elated. OK, I know it's the endorphins from my hard workout this morning speaking, but I feel terrific. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts, and the music is part of the moment. Enjoy!

Here it is if you want to listen.

Day 2: 40 days 'til 39

Today is day 2 of our 40-day adventure.

Today we decided to listen to a song from 1969, the year Sarah was born. I chose "Na Na Na Na Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" by Steam. According to Wikipedia,

"Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" is a song written and recorded by Gary DeCarlo, Dale Frashuer, and Paul Leka; attributed to a then-fictitious band "Steam," it was released under the Mercury subsidiary label Fontana. It became a number one pop single on the Billboard Hot 100 in late 1969. Although subsequent recordings and a quickly assembled touring band Steam met with little success, "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" remains a perennial favorite.

I chose it because it brought back memories from the mid-80s, when I was in high school marching band. We used to sing this song to the opposing football team & crowd when it became clear that our football team was going to steamroll them. We'd wave goodbye with our white gloves, sing at the top of our lungs, and generally just have an awesome time.

If you want to have a listen:

Beethoven

Last night we went to the Utah Symphony for an all-Beethoven concert. Garrick Ohlsson performed Beethoven's Piano Concerto #4, and the orchestra and chorus performed the Ninth Symphony. Briefly, I was quite impressed with Mr. Ohlsson's playing - definitely a cut above! It was one of the few times I actually agreed with the Utah crowd's standing ovation (they give standing ovations to EVERYONE, which defeats the purpose, in my opinion). I loved the intense & focused moments of communication between soloist and conductor; the intimacy of consummate musicians in tune with each other is something I would never tire of watching. Actually, truth be told, the only thing that is better is performing and feeling that connection myself. I miss it, but one can only fit so many things in a day, and caring for my children, racewalking, and blogging are taking up all my time :).


The amazing Dale Chihuly sculpture in the Abravanel Hall lobby. Other photos: our friends David & Jana, and also Loren with me.



Date nights are wonderful!