Enjoyable day

Started out the day with a 7-8am spinning class, and got my HR about as high as I've ever seen it spinning. We did about a 30-min warm-up (haha...more like a 5 min warmup and 25 min workout!) and then a 20-min time trial. Ouch! The time trial is pretty tough. 5 min "flat road", 80-90rpm but with your power output reasonably high. I started with my HR about 150, because I figured that was a good place to start for a hard 20 min. Then, we had a 2 min "run" (standing, fast pedaling), which always gets my HR up, followed by a 2 min climb (increase resistance, sitting), and then a 1 min standing climb. Then, repeat the whole thing. On the last 1 min climb, my HR pegged at 168. Granted, it gets higher racewalking (I've seen it as high as 180 in a 5K, at the end of the race), but still...yeah...hard effort for cycling. Notes to self about the time trial: bike #26, ave rpm 79, ave power 211 watts, distance 7.8. Not sure I'll be able to get that same bike again, and they are quite different, but at least that is something. The instructor plans to do the time trial again in a month to see if we've improved. Oh yay!

After the spin class I went home for a quick shower and change, and then took Calvin with me to breakfast with my friend Kelly. She's leaving for California for a couple months before moving to Idaho for a job. I'll miss her a lot, so we had to do breakfast one last time. Of course, she got Eggs Benedict, her favorite :).

Then Calvin and I did a bit of shopping for ingredients for our holiday baking frenzy today. It was pretty fun --- and then we did our baking! We made a couple batches of caramels, which need to be chocolate dipped sometime soon (tomorrow???), and also some caramel nut popcorn. We are still going to make some peanut butter balls coated in chocolate ("buckhorns"), and some white chocolate espresso macadamia nut bark. We also played Monopoly for a little while, and Calvin totally killed me! He did really well; for a while it was neck-and-neck but then he pulled ahead. Good game. Finally, we had a couple from church over for dinner; she plays the cello, so after dinner she and I played some music together. After they left, I played my clarinet and the piano for a little to scratch the music itch a bit more.

It was a good day :).

My toe is quite sore after the baking frenzy, and I did ice it, but...well...yeah, probably shouldn't be on it so much. Oh well. It is still very tender to the touch, and putting on socks, pants, standing too long, and walking hurt. Mostly just annoying, but am trying not to think about how much longer it's going to be that I can't racewalk. On the flip side, I get more rest to hopefully make the mystery illness go away for good. Yesterday at Kelly's graduation I was sitting a lot (driving, the ceremony, more driving, then dinner) and it barely bothered me at all :).

sick

I'm sick. Could be worse, but could be better, too. Sore throat, congestion (severe), headache, and extreme fatigue. Just going up the stairs is about all I can do. 12K was out of the question.

***

Since I can't work out, I decided to post 2 delicious cookie recipes. Ha ha. I'm certainly in no condition to bake, but hey, since I can't exercise today, I could make some other people fat ;)? They are basic recipes - you probably already have them in one form or another. But I have experimented and personally find these to be the best recipes for each type of cookies (sugar cookies and chocolate chip bar cookies). Enjoy!

Sugar Cookies

1/2 c. butter
1 c. sugar
1 egg
1 TB milk or cream
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Sift together:
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
1 3/4 c. plus 2 TB flour

Cream butter w/ sugar, adding sugar gradually. Cream together until light and fluffy. Add the egg. Beat well. Add the milk or cream and vanilla and mix well. And in 1/4 cups, sifted flour mixture to the butter-egg mixture. Mix well. Form into ball. Wrap in wax paper or plastic wrap and chill at least 8 hours.

To bake-- remove small amounts of dough and roll on lightly floured surface and cut into shapes (I personally like them thick so they come out a bit chewy). Bake at 375 degrees for approx. 8 minutes. Mine do not usually brown - remove before then or you will have crunchy cookies!


Icing
1 bag powdered sugar
2 (heaping) TB of Meringue powder (I used Wilton brand)
1 tsp vanilla
about 15 TB water

Use squeeze bottles to apply icing. Pipe the edges of the cookie first to make a "levee". Then "flood" the interior of the cookie w/ icing.





Decadent Blonde Brownies

1 1/2c all-purpose flour
1t baking powder
1/2 t salt
3/4c granulated sugar
3/4c packed light brown sugar
1/2c butter, softened
2 large eggs
2t vanilla
10 oz semisweet chocolate chips
optional: 3.5 oz macadamia nuts, coarsely chopped, to measure 3/4c (I didn't add these)

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease 13x9 inch pan. Combine flour, baking powder and salt in small bowl; set aside.

Beat sugars and butter in large bowl until light & fluffy. Beat in eggs & vanilla. Add flour mixture. Beat at low speed until well blended. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts. Spread batter evenly into prepared pan (I do this with damp hands). Bake 25-30 min or until golden brown. Remove pan to wire rack; cool completely and cut into bars.

easy 10K

I have missed racewalking this week! The elliptical's getting a bit boring, so I asked Jim if I could walk today, and he said yes :). He said to do 10K easy. Yay!

It's DARK outside now until 7 am. Bummer. I had to go early because I had to weigh in at Weight Watchers (lowest weigh-in of the year at 149.2 - that's good but I am still a bit above where I probably should be...sigh...) and then pick up the kids from my parents' house and take them to Calvin's soccer game, which is on the other side of town. Wheeeeeeeee.

At least it wasn't cold. It was 54F (12.7C) and calm. Very nice walking weather, indeed. September is generally lovely here, and I appreciate that. I'm enjoying the warm weather as long as it lasts, because I know what's coming. It won't be long until that 4-letter-word starting with s and ending with w appears.

My glutes were a bit sore from some aggressive biking this week :) but other than that and the residual chafing under my right arm (which ITCHES now), I was feeling good. I started off well and did tire a bit around 5K, but got a second wind and finished decently, all things considered. I can tell that I'm not back to 100% yet, but it felt good to walk. My legs were a bit heavy for the end of the walk, and now that I'm just sitting here they're a bit stiff/sore in the glutes. Probably should still take it kind of easy this week, but I do want to walk. We'll see what the coach says...it's nice to have a coach to give you good advice about this sort of thing.

I've got a lot to do today, including some baking :). I won't get to eat any of it, which is probably a good thing - I'm making a white chocolate cheesecake with raspberry sauce for our church's campus ministry. I'm also getting a haircut, teaching two piano lessons, and picking some pears off of our tree for canning. The one thing I do NOT have to do today is work...whew. Work has been pretty busy/stressful lately, but I got a bit of a break for the weekend, which I'm happy about. I've had a lot of molecular biology projects to work on since the untimely death of my co-worker last month, and though I'm really enjoying them, it's been high-pressure as we have a couple grants due in the next two weeks, and my boss needs the constructs to test out for some preliminary data for the grants. Still, yesterday I got over the hump on one of the harder projects, so that was a relief. The others are coming along as well, so hopefully the stress will ease up soon.

Oh, and the summary for today's walk: 1:02:46 for 6:16/km with ave HR 146.

Garmin connect data here.

bourbon-pecan-chocolate-chip pie

A racewalker friend from Australia has asked for this recipe. Since I am typing it anyway, I'll put it here so I can share. It's modified from Betty Crocker and an Emeril recipe from the magazine Everyday Food. It's kind of a hodgepodge of both recipes. Enjoy!

Bourbon-pecan-chocolate-chip pie

Makes one 10" pie

2 cups pecan halves
2/3c semisweet chocolate chips
4t all purpose flour, plus more for coating chocolate chips
4 lg eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/3c packed light brown sugar
1c light corn syrup
1/3c bourbon
1t vanilla extract
1/3c salted butter, melted

crust
2c all-purpose flour
1t salt
3/4c butter flavor Crisco
5-8T cold water (in Utah use 7-8T because it's so dry here!)

1. Preheat oven to 375. Make crust: whisk flour & salt in medium bowl. Cut in Crisco with pastry blender. Add just enough cold water to allow you to form a ball. Roll out on pastry mat with more flour.
2. Spread pecans in crust. In small bowl, toss chocolate chips in a little flour to coat, then scatter evenly over pecans.
3. In a medium bowl, stir together eggs, brown sugar, corn syrup, bourbon, vanilla, butter, and flour until well combined. Pour filling over pecans and chocolate chips.
4. Bake until filling is set and crust is browned, about 70 minutes. Loosely tent with foil if it browns too quickly. Let cool on a wire rack at least 1 hour. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Nutrition info...don't ask LOL!

Michelle's Party!

We had a party for Michelle today :). OK, so it was 2 weeks after the fact...but at least we finally had a real party with her friends. We were outside in the back yard a lot playing in the water, as the weather was really nice. We bbq'd hot dogs and sausages, and had corn on the cob, salad, watermelon, chips, pretzels, and of course CAKE! I had so much fun making her cake, and watching her have fun at the party was marvelous too.

You're invited

Come on over for a piece of cherry pie, before it's gone. Homemade from fresh cherries, and served with a side of vanilla frozen yogurt. Mmmmm! 

Memorial Day BBQ

Gotta have a BBQ on Memorial Day! We did it up right, and ate healthy food, too. Grilled chicken breasts, fruit salad, green salad, corn on the cob, oven fries and sweet potato fries. Yum! Calvin's response? "Make this AGAIN, Mommy!"
 
 
 
 

French Toast Souffle

A Facebook friend asked for this, so as long as I was typing, why not paste it into my blog? Enjoy!

French Toast Souffle (from "The Best of Cooking Light"

***Start the night before!!!

10 cups (1-inch) cubed sturdy white bread (such as Pepperidge Farm Hearty White; about 16 [1-ounce] slices)
Cooking spray
1 (8-oz) block 1/3-less-fat cream cheese, softened
8 lg eggs
1 1/2c 2% reduced-fat milk
2/3c half-and-half
1/2c maple syrup
1/2t vanilla extract
2T powdered sugar
3/4c maple syrup

1. Place the bread cubes in a 9x13 baking dish coated w/cooking spray. Beat cream cheese w/a mixer at med speed until smooth. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add milk, half-and-half, 1/2c maple syrup, and vanilla; mix until smooth. pour cream cheese mixture over top of bread; cover & refrigerate overnight.
2. Preheat oven to 375.
3. Remove bread mixture from refrigerator; let stand on counter for 30 minutes. Uncover; bake at 375 for 50 min or until set. Sprinkle souffle with sugar; serve with 3/4c syrup.
Yield: 12 servings (serving size: 1 slice souffle and 1T maple syrup)
Calories 346, fat 11.5g, protein 11.6g, carb 51.7g, fiber 2.7g, chol 169mg, iron 1.9 mg, sodium 396 mg, calc 131 mg

Day 19: 40 days 'til 40

Yesterday was day 19 of our 40 days 'til 40. We had planned to go to a bookstore and browse the bargain racks; due to some schedule changes, Sarah ended up going in the afternoon, and I planned to go to a concert at night with Loren instead. Well, we didn't make it to the concert (the tickets were free, so no biggie) because we were late eating our homemade (and very yummy) Valentine's Day dinner. After dinner, I suggested to Loren that we go and browse the bookstore instead of going to the concert; my parents had the kids last night, so it was no problem to just shift our plans. So we ended up browsing the bookstore after all, and I got a few good bargains. I got a gift for someone (can't say what it is here or it won't be secret any more!), a hardcover edition of Edgar Rice Burroughs' first three Mars books, and some Dostoyevsky short stories which I'm hoping to read for our classic reading assignment (unless Sarah finds something better). The Edgar Rice Burroughs Mars books are childhood favorites - I first read them in junior high, and loved the series instantly. This edition is wonderfully illustrated and was only $13!

It was great to browse with Loren, and we had a wonderful night without the kids. Our dinner was spectacular. I made filet mignons with cremini mushrooms and rosemary, mashed Yukon Gold potatoes, and fresh asparagus. For dessert, flourless chocolate raspberry cake, which was 22 points per serving ( = about 3 hr of working out!) and amazingly delicious. I'm not sure it was really worth the 22 points (I mean, really, is ANYTHING worth working out 3 hr to eat?), but I had wanted to try it for a long time, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Here's the recipe:

Flourless Raspberry Chocolate Cake

From Costco Connection magazine

22.5 points each (!)

1/3 c plus 1T unsalted butter, divided
2 (1 oz) squares bittersweet chocolate
2 (1 oz) squares unsweetented chocolate
7T seedless raspberry jam, divided
2T orange zest
2 lg eggs
1/3 c sugar
1/4 c orange juice
Garnish: raspberries & whipped cream

1. preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease ramekins with 1T of butter. Line the bottom of the ramekins with parchment paper.
2. In med bowl, combine chocolates & remaining 1/3c butter. Microwave on high in 30-sec intervals, stirring between each, until melted. Add 4T raspberry jam & the orange zest. Stir to combine. Allow mixture to cool slightly.
3. In med bowl, combine eggs & sugar. Whisk egg mixture into cooled chocolate mixture. Pour batter into prepared ramekins. Place ramekins in a roasting pan. Fill pan with water until it reaches halfway up the outside of the ramekins. Cover pan with aluminum foil, sealing well on edges. Bake for 1 hr.
4. Remove roasting pan from oven and allow cakes to cool in water for 15 min. Remove ramekins from pan and allow to cool. Chill cakes 4 hr or overnight.
5. In small bowl, combine remaining 3T seedless raspberry jam and the orange juice. Microwave on high in 30 sec intervals, stirring between each, until melted (about 1.5 min total).
6. Serve sauce with cake. Garnish with whipped topping & raspberries.

homely but cute?

Here is our finished product. 

We made Cookie Monster cupcakes!

 
Recipe on the blog Good Things Catered.

Happy Birthday to Michelle!

Here's the cake. Can't wait to try it... yummy! Yeah, this might not be such a good week to lose weight, what with the birthday and trip to Seattle. Sigh... but if I can at least avoid gaining this week that will be good :). I think that might work!!!

Here's the recipe. I think this is going to be amazing. Tried a bit of the edge from the pan and it was incredible; ditto for the frosting. Oh, and there are oreos INSIDE the cake, AND it has a whipped cream filling. Yum!!!

My cake is darker than the one on Good Things Catered, because I used dutch process cocoa instead of regular Hershey's. Mmmmm... dark chocolately flavor.

by request: homemade granola recipe

I got this from Food Matters by Mark Bittman.

Anything Goes Granola
Makes about 9 cups

5 cups rolled oats or other rolled grains (wheat, rye, kamut); I used oats
1 cup mixed nuts & seeds; I used pecans, almonds, cashews, and sunflower seeds(Bittman calls for 3c but I used 1 to keep calories lower)
1 cup shredded, unsweetened coconut
1t ground cinnamon, or other spices to taste
1/2 to 1 c honey or maple syrup (I used 1c lite maple syrup)
1t vanilla (optional; I used it)
1-1.5 c raisins or chopped dried fruit (I used 2 c of chopped dried fruit: apricots, plums, pears, apples, craisins)

1. Heat oven to 350. In large bowl combine oats, nuts, seeds, coconut, cinnamon, sweetener, & vanilla; sprinkle w/a little salt. Toss well. Spread on rimmed baking sheet and bake 30 min or longer (it took mine 45-50 min), stirring occasionally. Granola should brown evenly; the darker it gets w/o burning, the crunchier it will be.
2. Remove pan from oven & add raisins. Cool on a rack, stirring now & then until granola reaches room temp. Put in sealed container & store in fridge. It will keep indefinitely.

8 WW points per cup

nice weekend

Saturday was a bit busy with racewalking adventures and IT band problems, but Sunday and Monday were pretty nice. Especially Monday. We got a lot of stuff done (family portraits at Sears, Home Depot trip, grocery shopping) and I even found time for a short nap in the hammock, after reading the paper. Then we made an amazing dinner - Loren bbq'd a whole chicken, and I made coleslaw (new recipe w/Gorgonzola cheese - very good!), homemade buttermilk biscuits (GREAT!!!!), corn-on-the-cob, and watermelon. We ate a lot. Yeah, I need to rein that in again... the pounds are starting to creep back on, sigh. Not much leeway for me these days.

While dinner was cooking, I replaced our kitchen faucet. Again. Yeah, the one I put in in January '08 gave up prematurely. Irritating. Fortunately, it came out easily, the new one was only $64, and seems to work perfectly so far.

***

At least I got in a good hour & 10 min racewalking yesterday to make up for some of the food. I walked 10K (6.2 miles) in 1:05:14 for 10:31/mile, then another 0.36 miles very easy to cool down back to my house. My IT band was the teensiest bit sore at the end, but was really feeling pretty good, so I was pleased.

I was going to racewalk a hard 12x400 this morning, but woke up really grumpy and NOT wanting to do it. I know, I would have felt better had I done it, but I decided to do an easy walk around Sugar House Park instead. I'm glad I did. It was beautiful (though windy), and I did push a little bit because after I got into it, I was in the mood after all. I covered the 3.7 miles in 37:20, for 10:05 per mile, with ave HR of only 143. Pretty fast for such a low HR. I was wearing my Chinese racewalking shoes - maybe that was it :)? Or maybe I just was having a good day. Wonder what I could have done at the track? Ah well. My IT band was feeling fine - no problems :).

DELICIOUS!

Last night Loren wanted me to make some cake. I had points from racewalking that morning, and I love dessert, so why not? I'd been wanting to try this recipe for coconut cake, and it was SO AMAZING. This is very possibly the best cake I have ever eaten, and for a chocoholic like me to say that about a non-chocolate cake, well, that is just testimony to how good this recipe is.

Enjoy! And let me know how you like it if you make it.

Asparagus-Potato Puff

This was good, and some FB friends wanted it, so here it is:

Asparagus-Potato Puff
from Weight Watchers Magazine (Mar-Apr 2009)

3/4 lb large red potatoes, scrubbed and thinly sliced
1 lb fresh asparagus, trimmed & cut into 1-inch pieces
1 1/2 c fat-free egg substitute (egg beaters)
1/2 c fat-free milk
4T grated pecorino Romano cheese (I substituted fresh Parmesan)
1/2 t salt
1/4 t baking powder
pinch cayenne
1 red onion, chopped

Combine the potatoes and enough lightly salted cold water to cover by 3 inches in a large sauce pan. Cover & bring to a boil. Uncover & boil 5 minutes. Stir in the asparagus and cook until the potatoes are fork-tender and the asparagus is crisp-tender, about 2 min. Drain the potatoes and asparagus in a colander & let cool.

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 500. Whisk the egg substitute, milk, 3T of the cheese, salt, baking powder, and cayenne in a large bowl.

Spray a large cast-iron or heavy ovenproof skillet w/nonstick spray and set over medium heat. Add onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 2 minutes.

Meanwhile, stir the asparagus and potatoes into the egg mixture. Add the egg mixture to the skillet. Reduce the heat; cover & cook until the mixture is almost set, 10 min. Uncover, sprinkle w/the remaining 1T cheese, and transfer the skillet to the oven. Bake until the puff is cooked through and the top is golden, about 5 in. Cut into 4 wedges. If making ahead, let cool. Transfer the wedges to an airtight container. Refrigerate up to 2 days and serve at room temperature.

Per serving (1 wedge): 165 cal, 2g fat, 1g sat fat, 0g trans fat, 8 mg chol, 603 mg sod, 23g carb, 5g fiber, 15g protein, 319 mg calcium. Points value: 3.

Filling extra: cook a few slices of Canadian bacon according to the package directions to serve alongside this dish (2 slices for each serving will increase the points value by 2).

Oat & Apricot Breakfast Bars

I got this recipe from WW online and I love it! I made it for our mom's group at church this morning, and the kids liked it a lot. Except for my son, who ate one bite and turned up his nose. Go figure!

Servings: 8
Points: 3

1 c whole-grain wheat flour
1 t baking powder
1/2 c packed brown sugar
1/2 c uncooked quick oats
15 pieces dried apricot halves, diced
2 T sunflower seeds
1 T reduced calorie margarine, melted
1/2 c fat-free egg substitute (can use 2 eggs instead)

Preheat oven to 350 F. Coat an 8-inch square baking pan w/cooking spray. Whisk together flour, baking powder, sugar, oats, apricots, and sunflower seeds. Whisk together margarine and egg substitute. Quickly mix together wet & dry ingredients. Spoon into prepared pan and smooth top (I pressed it down with moistened hands). Bake until firm, about 20 minutes. Cool completely before cutting into 8 rectangles. Yields 1 bar per serving.

By popular demand

2 recipes from our Super Bowl feast:

Mazza Hummus (from the restaurant at 15th & 15th and also at 9th & 9th here in SLC)

One 17.6 oz bag dried chickpeas (garbanzo beans)
water
salt
2 cloves garlic
2 T lemon juice, or more to taste
3 T tahini sesame butter, well stirred (you can get tahini paste in most supermarkets in the natural foods section)
olive oil, for drizzle

Place chickpeas in a large bowl. Cover w/cold water and place in the fridge. Soak for at least 24 hrs or until tender (or you can boil 2 min and soak 1 hr in hot water, as in pkg directions). You should be able to bite through a pea.

Drain. Place in a large pot and cover w/2-3 inches of water. Add 1t salt. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 2-3 hrs or until peas are soft and there is about 1 inch of thick broth. Add boiling water during cooking if level gets too low (this cooking process works well in a slow cooker).

When peas are soft, drain, reserving cooking liquid.

For one batch hummus, place 2c softened peas, garlic, lemon juic, and tahini in the bowl of a food processor. process, adding broth a little at a time until well combined and creamy. Season w/salt. Taste, and add more salt and/or lemon juice if necessary.

Scrape into a serving bowl and drizzle w/a little bit of olive oil.

If you plan to make hummus ahead of time, it should be slightly thinner than you want, as it will firm up as it sits.

Place remaining cooked peas in a container w/a tight fitting lid. Cover w/some of the cooking broth. Place in the freezer for later use.

One batch makes 2c hummus.



Slow Cooker Chile Verde (from my sister-in-law, Erica)

3T olive oil (I omitted this and it was still very good)
1/2 c onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic (I used 4. I love garlic!)
3 lbs pork shoulder (I used center loin pork for a leaner chile verde)
2 x 10 oz cans green enchilada sauce
1 can green chiles (the little ones - 4.5 oz?)
2t coriander
2t cumin
2T lime juice

Sear meat in non-stick pan. Transfer to crock pot. Cook onions & garlic until translucent and add to crock pot. Dump all other ingredients in on top of pork. Cook on low 8-10 hours. Remove pork and shred and return to pot and stir. Serve with corn tortillas, cheese, and sour cream.

Super cooking for the Super Bowl

I love cooking. I love cooking almost as much as I love eating :). And I love to cook the most when I can do it alone and uninterrupted, like now, while the kids are napping.

We're going over to Sarah and Bryan's house to watch the game, and since Loren and Bryan will both be rooting for the Steelers, we have game compatibility, which is important ;).

The menu?
Homemade hummus (recipe from Mazza, our amazing local Middle-Eastern restaurant) with pita and carrots
Chile verde with tortillas, sour cream, and cheese
Lemon Raspberry Torte (actually a lighter recipe from Prevention magazine)
Red Velvet Cupcakes (from this month's Runner's World magazine)

Plus drinks and chips, courtesy of Sarah and Bryan, who are also providing their HDTV and house that is perfect for entertaining.

So, my kitchen got a little messy, but it's been fun, and all that's left is to frost the cupcakes and then we're ready to roll.

weights today; random stuff

Today I lifted weights/did circuit training. I alternated between the bike (which I'm not 100% sure is a good idea; it doesn't hurt, but I need to get some medical advice on this) and weights. I did not lift anything that required bending my knees, but I was still able to do dead lifts for my hamstrings and cable pulls for my abductors. I did a bunch of upper body stuff too: chest flys, lat pull-downs, bicep curls, upright rows and more. Of course we did lots of abs and good stretching at the end.

My IT band is still quite painful when descending stairs and even just walking. I limped my way around the grocery store w/the kids, though. As a side note, that was NOT fun. Michelle kept standing up in the car cart, so I took her out and buckled her in the seat in the cart. She did not like it at all and pitched a giant fit, screaming at the top of her lungs. Well, I still had my shopping to do, so I finished anyway. People were looking at me like I was some kind of ax murderer, but whatever. I really don't care what they think. At the checkout, the ladies asked me if I'd like balloons for the children. Hah! Balloons? To reward that kind of ridiculous temper tantrum. I think not. Then all the little old ladies who were there shopping (it's 11 am on Monday, so what do you expect?) were trying to tell me how I ought to manage her fit. I honestly did not appreciate the input - mostly they seemed to think that I was being too hard on Michelle. Um, hello? If I cave in to her tantrums, I will have to put up with more of them. It was highly aggravating.

After I got home I decided to make some French bread for tonight. I plopped the ingredients in the bread machine on the dough cycle and pushed start. The dough blade promptly broke and I had to take it all out and knead it by hand :(. Replacement dough blades are $20 (!!!!) which is ridiculous for a little piece of plastic; the machine dates to our wedding in 1993. I don't know but I think we might toss it. I can make bread by hand anyway, and I'm home to do it these days (though I have been recruited to come back to my old job, sort of - I'd work for a different boss, and I'm not up to doing it right now, so I said no).

Today is still better than yesterday, but let's face it - it's not going great. Oh, and no, I haven't called the doctor yet. I'm waiting to hear back from a friend on a recommendation. If I don't hear by later today I'll just punt. I need to get in and see someone.

I'm still feeling pretty rotten about life in general. I don't remember the last time I felt so down - it was probably before I joined WW in February 2005. But please don't tell me how I should stop feeling sorry for myself, focus on the positive, and remember how everyone else has it worse than I do. I know I ought to do this, but y'know what? I'm just not able to do it right now, and I don't care.