I have felt pretty ill the last couple days - avert your eyes and skip to the next paragraph if squeamish. Otherwise, read on....you've been warned. Thursday night I went to bed a bit late (~11?) after reading an e-mail that stressed me out a bit (everything is fine but it was anxiety-provoking). I woke up at 2am because I had diarrhea (probably from the antidepressant leaving my system - this has been a persistent and annoying symptom) and I started thinking about the e-mail and then could not get back to sleep for 2 hours. Then I slept from 4-6 and woke up and couldn't sleep more. I still felt pretty sick.
Friday morning, despite feeling a bit ill (dizzy, fatigued, mild brain zaps, a touch of nausea, sleep-deprived) I got on the elliptical for 20 min, because exercise does help one get through the day even if stupid tired. I think it helped. I made it through a tough day at work and when I got home I crashed for about 30 min. Got up and made dinner, then after dinner I went to bed at 8:00 and went to sleep at 8:45. I slept for almost 9 hours :) and woke feeling a bit better, but still dizzy and fatigued. I have not taken any medication since Sunday night, when I took 2.5mg of escitalopram. I'm hoping to gut it out this weekend and hoping that the symptoms ease by Monday so that I can work.
Today has been stupid busy but I'm sorta managing. The 12K was slow; I did the first 6k alone and then 6k with Calvin and at one point in the last 6k I got really emotional. Poor Calvin got kinda mad at me and wouldn't walk with me again until I apologized, which I did, because I was being stupid. It's just hard to be so slow, and to know I'm signed up for World Masters, and to know I can't train as hard as I want. I'm still going to try. The 12K was 7:02/km for 1:24:30 with ave HR 141. Also, it was warm and humid (for here), at 26.1C (79F) and 42%. (That was at 6:30am...ughhh!).
You probably don't care that then I helped our pastor's family move (Calvin helped too), and then went tile shopping for the bathroom because it's impossible to get over to the showroom before 4:30 on weekdays and the tile place my contractor likes closes at 5. Or that I then took our summer roommate Jonathan over to Costco because he doesn't have a membership and needed some things. Or that when I got home I was stupid tired and I might have yelled at the kids and husband because the dishes weren't done (I'd asked the kids to please do them while I was gone and the husband to please stay on them to do it), or that Calvin put a hot pan lid on our dining room table, which is my one favorite piece of furniture, aside from the piano, and the only really nice furniture that I have ever purchased new, and that it now has an ugly ring (which is admittedly faint but I'm still very angry). I might have gotten very upset and was angry not just because the table is now marred, but also because I do love Calvin much more than I love the table and am angry at myself for being angry at him. I might have had a meltdown while making pizza dough for our homemade pizza (Saturday tradition) and Calvin might have given me a very sweet hug. I told him how I felt and that I love him more than the table but that I'm still angry about the table but also that I'm mad at myself for being mad at him. I think he understands?
It might be time to take a short nap before I melt down more. I'm so tired.
SugarHouse Park - overcast, warm, humid
With the boy I love much more than my table...sigh.....
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